


Her Majesty's Baby

by TheCartoonPrincess



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Age Difference, Angel Krista Lenz | Historia Reiss, Angst, Badass Krista Lenz | Historia Reiss, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Heavy Angst, Levi (Shingeki no Kyojin) Swears, Orphanage, Other, POV Eren Yeager, POV First Person, POV Krista Lenz | Historia Reiss, POV Levi (Shingeki no Kyojin), Pining Levi (Shingeki no Kyojin), Pregnancy, Protective Levi (Shingeki no Kyojin), Romance, Secret Relationship, Sex, Top Eren Yeager, Vaginal Sex, War
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-03
Updated: 2021-02-15
Packaged: 2021-03-08 00:15:53
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 24,285
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26796484
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheCartoonPrincess/pseuds/TheCartoonPrincess
Summary: Historia is determined to inherit the Beast Titan, no matter the costs — if that's what it takes to save everyone, so be it... Yet as the MPs intend to feed her Zeke sooner than she anticipated, she must find a way to stop them. After all, she can trust in Eren and his 'secret' plan, right?Furthermore... will the captain even agree to her proposal? Will he even make a good dad?
Relationships: Krista Lenz | Historia Reiss/Levi
Comments: 21
Kudos: 45





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> AN: This fanfiction will contain spoilers to season four, so I highly recommend that you don't read if you are not up to date with the manga.
> 
> This will be a Levi x Historia romance and I implore if you are new to it, please give it a chance. I ship these two hard; I always have from season three and maybe even in season one (but only as a crack ship). I took the love for the ship to the next level after Levi helped Historia out with the orphanage in season three... The warmth that filled me after was just so overwhelming. This seemingly heartless, unsmiling guy showing a soft spot for little kids while helping the sweet Queen Historia out. I thought they made a great team. Historia is eighteen and of legal age, so I only ship them post time skip.
> 
> This is also a continuation of my other RivaHisu fanfic Her Majesty's Knight, but you don't have to read that in order to read this (Her Majesty's Knight is NSFW as a warning). I will fill in any blanks if necessary in this fanfic. That story was my own plot but this one will revolve around the current events in the manga. For that, it may eventually stray from canon...
> 
> I hope you enjoy and welcome to the wonderful world of RivaHisu. We're a nice community of shippers. Small, but welcoming 😁

I swing my legs over the pier, breathing in the sharp scent of brine as I cast my eyes over the sea.

I can't believe it's real. Like a lake but enormous, but instead of freshwater, it's filled with salt. The sun is just about to set as it hovers along the horizon, making the sea burn like liquid fire, and it really is beautiful. The colours are magnificent; I spot orange, yellow, and even magenta.

Never would I have dreamed of seeing such vastness. The waves seem to go on and on forever as it's hard to tell where the sky meets the sea, and now I lock my eyes on the horizon again, wondering what lies beyond.

Sure, we all know now that it's Marley, but there has to be more than just our enemy nation. We have other enemy nations too, but still... there has to be more for us.

After all, we deserve a chance just as much as anyone else. I personally don't think I'm a devil, but devils should still be given a fighting chance.

What was it that Eren always used to say... freedom?

Can we still find freedom beyond the sea? Even now that all the titans are gone? And do I still have to become the Beast? Just enough to shake the earth for the next fifty years? The thought of spreading fear in order to keep my people safe just breaks my heart.

I mean, it's simply unthinkable. They are people with hopes and dreams just like us: little children who wish upon stars, mothers who kiss their babies good night, and grandparents who tell their grandchildren sweet bedtime stories...

The last thing I want to do is hurt any of those people.

Armin always believes in the power of communication. Communication stops wars and creates understanding, but best of all it shows how we are all so similar yet different. It's the differences that make this world all the more beautiful and wondrous.

So… if we can show the world that we are like the mighty lion inside the pages of Armin's book— a beast who just wants to drink from the same watering hole with all the other animals for just a moment, then maybe... we can survive...

And I won't have to become the Beast anymore.

But when all is said and done, and we fail to convince the world that we are not a danger... then at least I know that my friends fought for me.

They're doing this all for me, and at times I don't think I deserve any of it and I should just save them the trouble and eat Zeke Jaeger instead...

"You stop with those morose thoughts right now, Historia, or so save me... I will push you off this goddamn pier."

I shut my eyes, counting down to ten as my ever-faithful knight marches down the pier towards me. Not that he would push me off the pier, but he could still be kinder with his words.

He just has an odd way of showing people how he cares... like how he threatened to stop Commander Erwin once from going to Shiganshina by cutting off all his limbs. I wasn't in the room when that conversation took place, but ever since the forging of our Ackerman-Reiss bond, we've been able to jump in and out of each other's minds and hear one another's thoughts, and that goes for memories too.

I see Levi's memories via his emotions now, and vice versa, and as a result, we created our own unique PATH.

All Eldian's are connected by invisible PATHs somehow, but this one is only accessible to us, and I wouldn't have it any other way.

He's my husband now and I'm his wife... and we should be together always.

Levi stops behind me, glancing briefly over his shoulder at the two Military guards at the other end of the pier, and I release a wistful sigh.

Even though my life is no longer in danger and no one's trying to kill me inside the walls anymore, I still have bodyguards following me wherever I go.

I can't even go to the sea in peace.

I'm here on a state visit after all with Commander-in-chief Darius Zackly. The commander is with the Volunteers right now inside headquarters, finishing up a few things before we leave, so I took the rare opportunity to be alone with the waves.

They really are refreshing. They splash against the columns of the pier below, sending sprays up towards my feet, and I savour the sensation of that fresh, salty water.

So heavenly... If only I could live here.

The Scouts get to be by the sea all the time now, and not for the first time I wish I was still a member.

Levi's attention falls back on me, so I turn to meet his eyes. He doesn't even look at the beautiful water; he just watches me.

So I take a rare moment to appreciate how the setting sun reflects off his sharp grey eyes, and they almost burn like lava. In fact, he's red all over, and it really is strange to see the sunset on the other side of the walls.

I can see he's still mad at me for giving up and deciding to eat Zeke Jaeger instead of trying to convince the world that we're good guys.

"Not that I wouldn't love anything more than to see that bearded asshole meet his demise... don't ever let me hear you thinking about giving up again, Historia... Got it?"

I blow a frustrated sigh, looking away from him as I glance at the horizon. It's just hard. When you have a million enemies whose faces you can't even see, and your nation's whole survival depends on your being able to maintain an ability to rumble the earth for fifty years... How can you not want to give up?

I feel Levi's eyes boring into my back. "Historia...?"

I roll my eyes, glancing back up at him again. "Stop peering into my thoughts and leave me be, Captain. After all, they're private. You should know better."

He narrows those cutting greys even further, but I hold his gaze this time. For the last few months, we have learnt how to control our special bond when we're in each other's presence, and thank goodness. I love Levi with all my heart, but I don't want to be hearing him thinking the word "Shit" every second of the day.

So now that we have better control of our bond, Levi's delving into my thoughts on purpose. But no need to worry... two can play at that game...

I tune in to his thoughts, but Levi just gives me that classic, deadpan stare. Fudge... It looks like he has finally become a master at controlling his thoughts around me, yet I can't help but overhear how he thinks the setting sun makes my hair glow like woven gold...

I decide not to tell him though, because I bet he just heard me thinking about how he looked handsome beneath the red light of the setting sun, the one that casts shadows inside the contours of his chiselled face.

Levi's been eating a lot better now since he's moved in with me at the orphanage, so he doesn't have that gaunt look of a skeleton anymore. Now he's chubby and lovable.

Levi growls. "Chubby? You little..."

I stifle a snort, patting the empty space beside me on the pier. "Well, now that you're here... you may as well watch the sunset with me."

His skin blanches when a wave splashes up from the depths below, spraying water all over me, and now he takes another step back. "No. I'm good here."

I giggle loudly as I'm sopping wet. A little bit of seawater even got into my mouth, and Jean was right; the sea does taste salty.

The two guards at the other end of the pier turn our way, but it's all good. I'm just a queen having fun with her humble knight after all.

Not that we've not had plenty of fun before...

"You really are scared of the sea aren't you, Captain?"

He grinds his teeth, muttering, "Tch".

I wipe a bit of seawater from my eyes, then say more gently, "It's fine... don't be scared. If you fall... I will jump in and rescue you. I'm quite the swimmer after all. Frieda taught me."

He throws me a scathing look. "I don't need rescuing... I can swim just fine by myself."

He can't since there wasn't much water in the underground, save for a sewer (but you don't want to go swimming in that). So when it comes to water... Levi is pretty useless. And I can see he truly is at a loss when it comes to the magnificence of the sea.

There could be all kinds of creatures living under the surface after all, like the mighty Kracken, and I shiver.

I peer back up at him and smile again. "So come and sit then if you're oh so brave, and don't worry... there haven't been any shark sightings so far. Just one dolphin, but they like people, so you're safe."

Levi scowls once more as I laugh out loud, and for a moment I forget all about the Rumbling, Marley, and Zeke Jaeger.

After all... that was why we had come south to meet with the Volunteers. Yelena is planning to bring Zeke to the island for the first time, and my nerves are a jitter.

Levi breathes a heavy sigh as he sits down beside me, and now he dangles his legs above the waves. I like to think that he gave up resisting in the end just to comfort me. After all, he must have heard me thinking about Zeke.

I don't even know what the man looks like. In my head, he's just Eren. Well, a blond, bearded Eren (Levi is forever calling Zeke a bearded piece of shit after all). I've only ever seen a picture of Zeke as a child, sitting on the lap of his mother Dina Fritz, and I really do see the semblance. He's my distant cousin as we're both descended from the first king Karl Fritz. Well, no, the 145th king — the one who brought his people to the island of Paradis and erected three walls.

For some reason, Levi has blocked out all thoughts about Zeke Jaeger whenever he's around me so I won't see his face. Is he doing it to protect me? If I can't see the face of the man I am going to consume one day, then maybe it won't hurt so much when the time finally does come for me to inherit his titan?

I give an involuntary shudder and wrap my white jacket around my green military coat. Levi still wears his blue one. The same one he donned when I dubbed him my knight. He has seldom taken it off. Well, only to wash it.

He also has his sword attached at his belt, tucked away safely inside its sheath. For a matter of fact, it's been some time since he's handled Ultrasteel, and I know he misses being on the frontlines with his fellow Scouts, just like I do.

But he sacrificed it all just to be with me... and for that I am grateful.

I need him after all, and I know the feeling is mutual. Tough times are ahead and I certainly feel safer with him around.

Levi has always preferred blades as his weapon of choice. Even as a child in the underground, he never went without one, and he has even shown me a few tricks like how to spin one around and catch it in your hand.

I almost took my toe off.

I peer down at my toes and see that they're still intact. Then I glance at Levi's boots. "Take your boots off. The waves feel fantastic on your feet."

"No. My feet are quite fine inside my boots, thank you."

I grumble, glancing at the horizon once again. The sun has almost set and now a few stars twinkle in the sky. "You're impossible at times."

"And you're annoying. Shut up and leave my feet alone."

I button my lips and now silence falls between us. There comes the sound of voices, and both Levi and I turn towards HQ.

Darius Zackly walks out from the front foyer with the tall, gangly Yelena and the dark-skinned Onyankopon, and my heart sinks when I realise…

Time to return to the walls.

I will miss my brief moment of freedom.

"Not just yet..." Levi says, sensing my thoughts. "I told Darius you can stay another night. I'll be with you after all. There's no need for you to go back."

My heart pounds and without thinking, I throw my arms around him and give him the biggest bear hug. He's all solid muscle but I don't care. I still squeeze him tight.

"Thank you, thank you!" I practically squeal, and I'm even louder than the gulls above.

To outsiders, we just look like a pair of platonic friends, but that couldn't be farther from the truth. There's nothing platonic here at all.

Captain Levi and I fell in love. A classic tale of a knight and his queen...

Levi pushes me away then turns to look at the commander-in-chief. I follow his gaze and my stomach drops when I see that he's staring at us.

His solemn, bearded face is focused only on me and Levi now, and you wouldn't even think there was a beautiful ocean just the other side of us.

We're the only thing in his sights now.

Ah, poo... what have I done? Did I blow our cover? After all... our relationship is supposed to be secret.

Only Hange, Jean, Mikasa, Armin, Connie, Sasha, and Eren know. Yet only Levi and I know that we are Levi Ackerman-Reiss and Historia Reiss-Ackerman now. As it says so on our marriage certificate; the one we got from the underground...

Thankfully, Yelena helps to distract the commander and waves her hand at us. So I wave back, and now the two volunteers escort the commander-in-chief to his carriage. The two guards at the end of the pier leave with him too, and now it's just me and Levi.

Finally.

When they're out of earshot, Levi turns to me. "Nice going... you almost blew our cover."

I hold my head down guiltily, but I try to focus on the brighter side. I get to spend another day at the seaside.

Levi mutters his infamous "Tch" and that's the moment when a friendly seagull flies above our heads and poops on his jacket. It even cackles a little as it flaps away on its wings, and now Levi grits his teeth, rising to his feet. "That's enough sea for the today. Come on, we're going inside."

Levi marches back to HQ and I wonder if it is safe for me to be under the same roof with Yelena.

After all, she scares me. It's those big eyes. So bottomless... like she's gazing into your soul...

She also seems to be pretty close with Zeke, and I wonder how far she would go to stop me from eating her beloved master.

It is a part of our contract with Kiyomi Azumabito that I should eat Zeke when his time comes in order to maintain the Rumbling, but there's just something not right with that woman.

Onyankopon comes to greet Levi at the end of the pier as the two men shake hands, and now I rise to my feet to join his side.

All the while Yelena keeps her bottomless eyes on me and I shiver.

I won't let her ruin my seaside vacation with my knight.

No one can come between us after all.


	2. Levi

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AN: Hello again, I have a new chapter for you all. This one will contain some juicy lemon (you've been warned). Also, remember the song by T-Spoon Sex on the Beach? And no... I don't mean the cocktail. That song applies here 😂

Someone shakes me awake the very next morning, and now I peer up groggily into a massive pair of luminous blue eyes.

Historia's face soon looms into view, and I grip the hilt of my sword, springing into action. As an Ackerman, I'm wired like an electrified cat. My senses are highly sharp, especially during sleep. Sounds and smells become so much stronger.

Historia steps back, raising her hands in alarm. "Whoa, whoa, steady, Levi, it's okay. We're still at HQ at the port. We spent the night, remember? We had a delicious meal with the Volunteers...?"

I blink up at her a few times, trying to get my bearings until it finally comes crashing back. Of course. We're at the port. I remember now...

"Right. Sure..."

I slip my sword back into its sheath as an eerie silence falls over the room. A seagull cries outside, telling me that we are, indeed, still by the sea, and now I rub my weary eyes as my rough night finally catches up with me.

Why the hell has she woke me up so early? It's still dark outside as I throw the young queen a scathing look.

She folds her arms across her chest, raising a brow at me in challenge, and I mutter "Tch".

Screw this shit. I need ten cups of black tea first before I can feel like a real human again. Plus, I slept with my back pressed against the world's most uncomfortable chair while Historia took the queen-sized bed, sleeping like a baby all night.

"Levi... get up. You promised."

I groan, running my hand through my messy hair. "Promised what?"

"That we could go and see the sunrise together. After all... it will be my very first..."

I remove my hand from my bedhead, looking up at her in disbelief. Historia has the sparkling eyes of a little child as she casts her gaze longingly out the window, and at times she really reminds me of Armin.

I'm convinced those two were separated at birth. Armin even masqueraded as Historia and got away with it while we were trying to usurp the government. Well, until that old perv felt him up in the warehouse, discovering that he had no breasts.

Poor kid. I still need to apologise to him about that one of these days.

A streak of pink breaks out across the sky. Historia gasps, taking my arm suddenly by surprise. "Come on, it's starting!"

She hauls my lazy ass out of the seat with surprising strength, and the next thing I know we're running through the halls of HQ. No one else is up yet, but we do run into Onyankopon. He flattens his back against the wall, a look of surprise lighting up his whole face.

"Captain Levi? Your Majesty...? Where are you going?"

Historia looks back over her shoulder, a huge smile plastered across her face. "To see the sunrise!"

The Volunteer blinks at us for a few moments, and I don't blame him for looking so puzzled. Outsiders will never understand us Paradisians after all. Not truly.

I hear his homeland has the best sunrises of all, being right along the globe's equator. The sun is near twice the size than it is in the northern hemisphere.

I can't imagine anything worse... I can't stand the heat, and I'm aware that his country has all kinds of dangerous creatures like mosquitoes and crocodiles, and not to forget those pesky lions too.

I do hope he gets to return to that homeland one day. You can see the sheen in his eyes whenever he talks of it, and he's one of the only Volunteers I can trust.

The ebony-skinned man releases a deep chuckle next and waves us off, and it seems he finally understands why we're in such a rush. "Well, have fun!"

He's soon out of earshot as we tumble down the stairs, and now we bolt out the door like a pair of lunatics.

Historia makes a beeline for the pier just as a rosy light breaks above the eastern skyline, and a small cry leaves her lips. "We... we may just make it..."

I glance at the pier then back up at HQ, spotting that tall, boyish silhouette of Yelena inside the window of the highest room. I clench my teeth as I start tugging Historia towards the eastern side of the port where we can be away from that freak's big, probing eyes.

Now Yelena I do not trust one bit. She worships Zeke far too much; a man I still vow to kill one day.

Mark my word, Erwin... I will fulfill my promise to you very soon...

Historia squeals as I make a sudden U-turn, yanking her away sharply in the opposite direction, and she can just about keep up. "Wait, where are we—?"

"We'll have a better view this way. Now hurry, unless you want to miss the sunrise, Your Majesty."

The queen picks up her pace, and I see a little bit of that military training shining through. She's not as fast as I am, but she can just about match my speed.

I've always been faster with ODM gear anyway. On foot, I'm like everyone else.

My eyes soon land on the little beach. It's well hidden from the main port due to the outcrop of rocks, so we should be good.

Our boots kick up sand as we run along the beach, and before long we make it between the rocks. Historia slumps against a boulder, gasping for breath, and I'm right along there with her.

I'm also sweating like a faucet as I wipe my forehead, but it was worth it in the end. At least the queen can see the sunrise now.

"It's... starting..." Historia whispers, casting her eyes to sea, and I follow her gaze.

An orange semi-circle pops over the horizon, chasing the last few remnants of night away, and I watch it spellbound.

Wow... The sunrise really is beautiful at sea...

I guess it was worth getting up for now after all. The world seems so peaceful right now. Gulls circle the sky far above as waves splash along the shore, cleansing our souls, and it really is hard to believe that there is still so much beauty to be found in this ugly world...

I think Eren calls it freedom... and I think I finally understand what he means. There is still a world out there for us. Somewhere beyond the horizon, if not further. After all... my fellow soldiers had to die for something.

Their sacrifices couldn't have all been in vain.

I inhale the fresh sea air, allowing myself for just one moment to forget all the ugly shit that's soon coming our way.

Sooner or later, it's going to happen.

War.

Once Marley's four-year war with the East Allied Forces is finally over (a war that the people of Paradis were the primary catalysts of), they will make their way to our humble island and try their hand at stealing the Founding Titan again.

Yet we're more prepared this time. We're not as clueless as we once were; we're aware now that there are other humans out there, and every single one of them wants us dead.

However, with the sun looking so pretty right now, reflecting upon the ocean's surface like flames... I can forget that I am a soldier.

I'm just one part of a greater whole, a universe much bigger than myself.

There comes a soft sniffle beside me, and I turn towards the queen. A breath leaves my lungs instantly.

Holy goddess...

She's even more beautiful than the sunrise, and how on earth is that possible? At times, I'm convinced that she really did fall from heaven, a true ethereal force of nature, and now I forget all about the sunrise as I watch her instead.

The sun casts her in a yellow glow, making her hair shine like a halo, and my heart skips a beat. Tears drip from her glistening blue eyes, eyes that shine bluer than the waves, and I just can't take it anymore.

I am completely overcome by her. Historia is enough to bring any grown man to tears, yet as always, I don't cry.

I bottle it all up inside.

What the hell did this cold, cruel world do to deserve her? What did I do to deserve her?

"It's so beautiful..." she whispers, her voice as soft as a feather. " Thank you... for bringing me here..."

She looks my way at last, and her eyes widen in surprise. "Levi? You're not watching the sunrise..."

The sun finally bursts over the skyline, bringing light to the world at long last, yet I still don't look away from her. "No... I'm not..."

A moment of silence stretches between the two of us as the world slowly comes to life. Blackbirds sing in the trees, welcoming dawn, and now it's like we're the only two people left in the world.

My weary eyes fall to her soft lips, and not for the first time, I want to kiss them. Especially as the sun's rays emphasize their heart shape.

Everything about her is lovely, and my blood fires up once I sense that stirring inside my pants.

We're alone now. No is watching...

Historia steps back, sensing my arousal. "Levi—?"

I pounce on her immediately, pressing her up against the rocks as I help myself to her gorgeous rose petal lips.

It's like kissing the inside of a rose...

Historia freezes in shock, but I'll soon make her melt. After all, she's no virgin anymore (since her flower was taken by yours truly).

Things are about to get wild at this seashore.

Historia thaws at long last, and now she wraps her arms and legs around me, sticking her tongue into my mouth just like I taught her.

Looks like someone's getting a little frisky.

We kiss for some time, sucking on one another's tongues. Historia threads her fingers through my hair, giving my strands a gentle tug, and I groan against her mouth.

"Do you like it when I pull your hair...?" she whispers inside my head. "It's usually the other way around..." She giggles next. "It's okay, Levi... you can get a little rough with me if you want to. I'm not some fragile little flower after all..."

"No... I want to savour the moment first... let our souls entwine..."

"Pfft, when did you become a poet?"

"Sometime after I became your knight, Your Majesty. Now shut up and let me kiss you."

"You're no fun..."

Without warning, she grabs my erection and squeezes tight, and a harsh breath leaves my lungs. Stars flash in my peripheral vision as the little minx massages the bulge, and I'm about to frigging burst.

Historia batters her long eyelashes, trying to look all coy and innocent even though she holds a grown-ass man by the dick.

I grit my teeth, fixing my sharp, steel-like eyes on her sassy blue pair. "You'll... regret that..."

She shrugs. "Choose the path with the least regrets, hey? That's what Erwin always used to say anyway..."

I growl, crushing my nose against hers now, and I see the excitement dancing inside her eyes. "Don't use my late commander's name in vain."

Historia flinches next when I slide my hands up her skirts, ripping the waistband of her panties when I reach her puckered entrance, and now I free my erection, slipping it inside her pussy until we join at the hips.

By now the sun has fully emerged as we grind against the rocks, the sound of skin slapping skin lost amongst the waves.

Historia shuts her eyes, enjoying the build-up as I continue to pound her like a sledgehammer, and that's when I feel it — her climax.

We're almost there...

"Don't stop..." she whispers inside my head and I chuckle.

"I don't plan to..."

"Thank you... for bringing me out here... I will remember this day always..."

I don't reply to her comment as I keep pushing her to the edge, but through the glorious haze of endorphins that pass through our bodies via our shared PATH, I sense her melancholy.

What does she have to be so sombre about? We're together... that's all that matters.

I put it to one side, smiling when I finally hit her sweet spot, and with a throaty cry, Historia releases all over me. Lights dance behind my own eyes, and now I release inside of her too, enjoying wave after wave of our mutual orgasm.

I lean my body against her, a sweaty, hot mess of heaving flesh as I pant into her face.

Historia's sweaty too, but I don't mind being dirty when I'm with her. Our merged fluids drip between our legs as I breathe in the scent of her.

So heavenly...

I really did bag myself the perfect girl in the end. Kenny always used to say that I'd be lucky to get myself a seven, being the scrawny, smelly, bug-eyed little kid that I was back in the Underground.

The man rated every woman we came across from a scale of one to ten, especially when we went out drinking at the local tavern, and he really was a scoundrel.

There's more to a woman than just her pretty face after all. There's her spirit and her bravery too, but I just wonder what rating Historia would have. One thousand? She goes way off Kenny's scales.

"Levi..." she whispers out loud now, and I enjoy the sound of her soft, feminine voice.

"Hm...?"

She brushes my hair from my eyes, smiling like the adorable little thing that she is, and my heart just melts. Even when I'm inside her, tainting her with my dark seed, she's still so beautiful and pure.

"I love you," she finally says.

Crap. The L-word… It always makes me so uncomfortable. Once I replied with "I know..." and she didn't talk to me for days.

Why are women so touchy about their feelings? They should be more like men, bottling it all up inside until it drives them insane.

Yet I meet her glistening, ocean blue eyes then say with pure conviction now, despite my trembling heart, "I love you too."

And I mean it; I really do. But I still hate saying it.

Who knows what's around the corner? As I said, war is upon us, hovering over the horizon like a hooded skeleton with a scythe. I think they call him the Grim Reaper...

Historia offers me a rare smile, one she only reserves for me, and then she pulls me closer, whispering against my lips, "Let's have a baby."

My eyes expand. Now that I did not expect.

I pull out of her at last, buttoning my pants as I stare at her aghast. Historia just giggles nervously, fixing her panties as she smooths down her skirt.

That's when I realise I entered her bare, and not for the first time too.

Shit! I'm such an idiot.

I grip my face, taking steady, deep breaths, and for some reason, I hear a baby crying. It seems to be coming from over the horizon, and now I start gasping for air.

No.

Dear God, no...

Historia steps forth, reaching a shaking hand out. "Levi... say something..."

Just as the pressure reaches boiling point, I meet her eyes, and that's when I finally spot the seagull.

No, a whole flock of seagulls.

They sit on the rocks all around us, watching us with intense, beady eyes. One or two cock their heads sideways like they're sizing us up, and now I forget all about Historia's question and tug her away.

"Historia... when I say run... run..."

She's just as frightened as I am. We've both witnessed first-hand a fellow soldier being eaten alive by a titan, yet nothing will ever compare to the fear we both feel now when we look at those angry, seaside birds.

Why are they looking at us like we're something good to eat?

The biggest gull suddenly bends its neck back and releases a loud "Ha, ha, ha!" and that's when I snap. I yank Historia by the arm and run back to HQ, and now the birds chase us down and shit all over us.

Forget what I said earlier.

The sea sucks.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: wtf 😂😂😂
> 
> It's true though: don't trust those seagulls. The laughing seagull is based off the evil seagull meme. You will know which one.
> 
> I thought it was perfect timing because that scene was so awkward to write. I think Levi was about to explode, so at least Historia had an out here.
> 
> I like to think she wanted that baby in the anime/manga, so I'm going with that idea. I think she would be a fantastic mother.
> 
> Well, stay tuned, and please, please leave a review and tell me what you think. What would you like to see happen next? How do you think Levi is going to react.
> 
> CartoonPrincessSigningOff.


	3. Historia

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Chapter three. We get some intense Yelena and Levi scenes. I wish we got more interaction with those two in the manga. Also, I apologise; I wasn't aware you could do italics on AO3 so I'm sorry if you got confused with some of the internal monologues. I will edit those soon.

Levi and I have breakfast with Yelena, Onyankopon, and the other volunteers later that morning, and the spread is ridiculous. We have shrimp scrambled egg, bacon lobster omelette, and smoked salmon egg stuffed with avocado.

To say that Levi and I were flabbergasted would be an understatement. I think it's because we both lived off rations pretty much for years in the military, we still don't know how to react when we're presented with such excess.

Not even the MPs ate this well in the interior...

Niccolo was the one who made the breakfast as he serves me and Levi an avocado. Levi's nose wrinkles up when he gazes down at that strange, salmon-stuffed fruit or vegetable (hard to tell which), and I'm pretty sure his face turns just as green.

He's still a little sceptical of food from the outside world, and I really wish he would give things a try before he gives them a solid pass.

Sometimes I feel as if I am dealing with one of the children at the orphanage. "Eat your greens," I will usually say when Thomas or Rosie refuses to eat their broccoli, and Levi is no exception — he hates broccoli too.

So long as he has black tea, then he's happy. But he can't live off tea alone...

Niccolo was pleasant as ever, but he hasn't always been that way; when he was first abducted and taken prisoner, he was bitter and hateful, spouting all kinds of awful things like "Island Devils". But now it seems he can't get enough of us demons (only because he's madly in love with one).

He's especially very nice to me since he knows that I am good friends with Sasha. In fact, he won't stop asking me questions about her.

"So... what do you think Sasha's doing right now, Your Majesty?" he asks as he places one too many avocados on Onyankpon's plate. The poor Volunteer almost looks as green as Levi, and I bet he's not a fan of the strange fruit/vegetable too.

I meet Levi's gaze briefly, who's deadpan as ever, and I know I'm not going to get anything more from him.

What am I meant to say?

So I laugh good-naturedly, then meet Niccolo's handsome, boyish face, and there's no denying the love in his eyes.

He is crazy for Sasha...

"You know Sasha... Probably stuffing her face with potatoes, I can imagine."

Niccolo's face melts, and it's so sweet how he becomes like a lovesick puppy whenever I talk of my gluttonous friend.

After all, he is a Marleyan. And she's an Eldian. Just a pair of star-crossed lovers who found love in the end.

"Yeah, that sounds like Sasha," he chuckles. "Always stuffing her face. I've never met anyone with an appetite like hers. It's almost ferocious."

I snort, remembering the time I snuck bread out to Sasha after Commandant Sadies made her run laps around the yard until sundown. She was like a wild animal. "Yeah... me neither, Niccolo."

Niccolo smiles and it reaches his eyes. Then he goes to ask me his next question. "So... what was Sasha like back in the 104th—?"

"That's enough now, Niccolo. Let the queen eat her breakfast in peace."

We both look across the table at Yelena. Her large, penetrating eyes don't leave me as she sips a cup of coffee, making me shiver.

She's so strange.

Niccolo deflates, and now he moves around the table to serve the other volunteers. His friend Grior—a fellow Marleyan—rolls his eyes from the corner of the room, and I feel so bad for Niccolo. Thoughts of Sasha must be the only thing giving him strength these days. He is technically a prisoner on our island. A Marleyan POW so to speak. He's lucky that he even gets to talk to me, the queen of the walls, but that horrible woman took his small bit of happiness away.

The volunteers often travel back and forth to the walls, and they will always take the Marleyan POWs too. So Niccolo will hopefully get to see Sasha again sometime very soon.

I bet he's missing her... I must make him feel closer to her since Sasha and I have a rich history. We were cadets together; we shared barracks.

There is Levi too as he is Sasha's captain, but I doubt the Marleyan has the guts to speak directly to Humanity's Strongest.

Silence reigns over the table now. Levi still won't touch his avocado as he sips on his tea, and I wish I knew what was going on inside that head of his.

After all, he still hasn't given me his answer.

I guess he got a little distracted after our seagull scare down at the beach, but I meant what I said: I want a baby.

Sure, I may have been speaking in the heat of the moment, but nothing has ever felt more right. I've known for a while now that motherhood is the path for me. And not just because of the contract we made with Kiyomi, but because I want it deep in my heart.

I love the children dearly at the orphanage, but they will never be mine. And it breaks my heart whenever I see one of them leaving with their new family, and I suppose I shouldn't get attached.

But how could I not? I raised those children pretty much as if they were my own.

I just never knew who I wanted as the father of my child, but there is no one better than my knight. And not just because he has the best DNA in town—who wouldn't want a child who can spin through the air like a wheel? But because I am madly in love with him.

I want to have Levi's babies, and I'm sure the feeling's mutual.

He just needs to give me his answer first.

I sigh wistfully, projecting my thoughts to Levi since he's blocked me out. Hopefully, I can get a confession out of him.

"Poor Niccolo..."

At first, all I am met with is static silence. Then a moment or two later, his grumpy, irritated voice echoes back to me.

"Tch... don't tell me you actually feel sorry for a Marleyan of all people?"

"Well, why not? It's not like he asked to be here after all. He was sent by his superior officers as an advance squad! He's just an innocent pawn in this war after all... he really doesn't deserve any of this..."

Levi doesn't answer me back, and I smile triumphantly. After all, he knows I'm right.

Yet my victory is short-lived as he echoes another thought to me. "So... you think he is handsome?"

I throw my fork down onto the plate and scowl at him. He smirks behind his teacup. The volunteers look at us, probably wondering why I look mad at Levi all of a sudden.

After all, he hasn't said or done a thing. He's just sitting there all innocent.

Shows how little they know.

He's been peering into my thoughts again when I least expect it. But I will have the last word; he won't win this mini-war...

"You still haven't given me your answer..."

Levi sips nonchalantly on his tea, and I shake my head. Figures...

I think it's about time we returned to the walls. We've long outstayed our welcome, and I am not a fan of having an audience.

We risked exposing our secret relationship by having sex on the beach. Even if it was amazing, we need to have better control of ourselves!

And we never used protection, and I place my palm to my belly, wondering if anything grows inside there. It would just be a cluster of cells right now, but still...

I could be carrying Levi's child...

Levi removes my palm from my belly, then throws me a warning glare, and I know he's reading my thoughts again.

I must not look so obvious after all in front of the volunteers, so instead, I feign stomach ache as I rise to my feet. "So delicious, but filling! Thank you so much, Yelena, for having us here, but we must leave."

Yelena's eyes widen at the sound of my voice, and now she rises from her own seat, towering above me.

She's so tall...

"The pleasure was ours, Your Majesty. Please, allow us to escort you to your carriage."

We have a carriage waiting for us outside — courtesy of the Military Police. They're becoming rather obsessed with my whereabouts lately as they keep sending me cabs.

I'm sure Nile is just worried about me.

"That won't be necessary..." Levi replies, finishing his tea at last as he stands to his feet, and now we both dwarf in comparison to the big, freakish lady. Levi gives her his usual glower, and I wish he would really learn some manners sometime. These people hosted us. "We can see ourselves out. We know where the door is after all."

Yelena's dark, scary eyeballs don't leave him once as they seem to grow twice their size, and at one point they look as if they're going to pop from her skull.

I have no idea what has just transpired between her and Levi, but it couldn't have been pleasant. Levi looks as if he just stepped in dog mess.

Then again... he always looks like that.

Finally, a smile spreads across Yelena's face, and now I shudder even more. She's even freakier when she smiles.

"Very well, Captain. Safe journeys to the both of you... And please, take some coffee for the road."

"Tea. I will have tea, please..." Levi hisses through his teeth.

He's not a fan of coffee. He tried it once and holy cow... if we thought he was fast and overpowered before.

That smile stretches a little bit wider on Yelena's face, but I don't miss the throbbing vein on her forehead.

I dub it Little Yelena...

I'll admit, Levi takes some getting used to. A lot of getting used to. There are times where I feel my own forehead throbbing.

"Niccolo..." she calls out to the Marleyan. "Please get the captain some tea for his long journey back to the walls."

The Marleyan POW nods then scurries down to the kitchen, but just before he leaves, Yelena grabs his arm and whispers, "Get him coffee."

Sweat drips from Niccolo's face as he glances over at the captain briefly. Luckily for them both, Levi doesn't seem to hear what Yelena just said, and now the Marleyan vanishes out of the room.

Before long he arrives with a hot flask of 'tea' and I really should say something, but the last thing I want to do is cause a scene.

Things are already tense enough as it is. She worships Zeke but Levi wants to kill Zeke. So obviously, they're going to clash.

Onyankopon waves us off. "Have a safe journey back home Your Majesty, and you too, Captain Levi. Tell Hange I said hello."

I wave back at the friendly, foreign man, enjoying that rich accent for just one last time. "You too, Onyankopon. It was so nice to meet you again. All of you..."

I wave to the rest of the volunteers now, and that's when Levi finally loses his patience, pushing me out the door. "If you'll excuse us... we have a cab waiting."

We leave the room at last, making our way down the stairs. Levi exhales heavily, scowling at me from the corner of his eye "Must you with the pleasantries?"

I blink in surprise. "I'm just being polite. They were kind enough to host us after all."

He raises a brow. "Host us? On our own soil? They're the guests here, Historia. Not us."

I grumble, marching ahead of him now. "Well, they were nice enough to help develop our island. You could at least show a little more gratitude."

"Unlike you, Your Majesty, I'm not so good at faking it. And I have to ask... does it not hurt smiling so much? Your cheeks must be killing you. I suggest you give them a rest."

I throw my arms up and move down the stairs faster. Levi gives a "Tch" and soon enough we climb into the carriage that awaits us outside HQ.

A road has been paved in the two years since we found the coast, so that way we can travel to and from the port with ease.

However, with the construction of the new railway, we will soon be able to travel by steam engine. A means of transport that uses coal as fuel and my heart pounds just thinking about it.

I glance out at that green expanse outside the carriage window, spotting that unfinished train track. My fellow 104th have been the ones putting it together after all, and between the six of them, it's going to take some months. They've already been at it long enough.

Hopefully we can take the children to the ocean one day. And then they can build sandcastles and splash in the waves, and even go swimming!

I can't wait.

Levi stares out the other window, a sour expression on his face, and I know he's still pissed at me.

After all... he's trying to avoid all baby talk as much as possible. Only now he has nothing to use as a distraction. Yelena and Onyankopon are gone now. And Niccolo.

I go to ask him one more time, but then he cuts me off with a glare. "Not now, Historia... not here."

My heart pounds as he shoots me a deathly look, his eyes glowing bright silver inside the shadowy carriage. I fold my arms and turn away from him. He's right. Now's not the time, especially while we're on the road.

Who's to say the driver of the cab won't overhear us after all.

So I breathe a sigh then lean back on the upholstered seat of the carriage, gazing dreamily out the window.

After all... in just a few hours, I will get to see the children again. And we will have some new arrivals too, and I can't wait to meet them.

Levi opens his flask and pours it into the cup, and the smell of coffee fills the carriage instantly. Once again Levi is oblivious, and he really isn't himself today.

He's usually so smart and has his wits about him, assessing every angle of a given situation. Nothing passes his keen eye after all.

Could he just be distracted?

The moment he takes a sip of that 'tea' his pupils dilate, and I watch him nervously. Shoot. Maybe I should have said something? I'm surprised he didn't sense my thoughts.

"Levi?" I say warily, scooting away as far as I can.

His face starts to twitch, and now I'm really worried.

He's going to explode.

That's when he bolts upright all of sudden, his eyes wide and alert. "That's some fucking strong tea..." and now he sips some more.

The rest of the way home was exhausting to say the least with Levi bouncing around the inside of the carriage all day long, and he talked way too fast.

I couldn't keep up.

Note to self. Never allow Levi to drink coffee ever again. His Ackerman instincts are on overdrive.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I'm just imagining Levi high on bloody coffee... Sorry, he's so OCC (I can't imagine someone as sharp as him would get coffee mixed up with tea), but I suppose he is distracted, I guess... but just use your imaginations there with how he looked in the carriage, I suppose 😂
> 
> I like throwing these humorous scenes in as I think this story will get too heartbreaking pretty soon, and we all know why... it helps buffer those scenes I guess.  
> And Niccolo... Oh, he is too precious. I want to give him a hug so bad.
> 
> Onwards and upwards. I will try and update weekly. Thank you so much for reading and please leave a kudos or a comment below, please.
> 
> CartoonPrincessSigningOff.


	4. Levi

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AN: Sorry for the late update. So unlike me not to post regularly but I needed a small break as I suffered from a little burnout. I will post more now though so don't worry.
> 
> I'm doing NationalNovelWriting Month with my good friend Soron Rocket so wish us luck! It's a long month of writing, basically. 50k words... but we'll get there.

Curse that tall, bearded lady bitch, Yelena, for giving me coffee...

You want the god honest truth though? I knew all along that the tea she had given me wasn't really tea. I'm no idiot—I heard her pulling that Marleyan POW aside, whispering into his ear.

I just needed a reason to be distracted. The last thing I wanted to do was talk about babies on the way back to the walls.

Seriously though, babies... Has Historia lost her mind?!

There we were, enjoying each other's warm embrace until she had to go and ruin it with her asinine words, "Let's have a baby..."

Fuck.

We're almost at the orphanage now as the carriage rides along the dirt road, and I grip my throbbing forehead.

The effects of the coffee are finally wearing off, and now I'm back to my normal, grouchy self again.

Historia is tight-lipped beside me, and at times her silence terrifies me. She can be a real ice-queen when she wants to be, but so long as it keeps her from talking about babies, I'm good.

I shiver just when I hear the word.

Babies...

Brr.

Why do people like them so much? They shit when they cry and they cry when they shit, and why do they feel the need to stare at you?

Children I'm okay with, but keep those tiny, gummy bastards away from me. If babies were any bigger, then would people still find them so adorable? When you look at them from certain angles, they almost resemble miniature titans.

Nothing cute about that at all.

The carriage stops outside the orphanage, and the sound of screaming children fills my eardrums. "Princess Historia!"

The queen jumps out the door, letting those tiny, snot-nosed gremlins seize her at once, and I stay inside the carriage.

I'm still reeling from my coffee high, and I've needed a piss for the last two hours. I'll let Historia exhaust them all first before they come at me.

"Did you see the ocean?!" Rosie cries.

I can almost hear the smile in Historia's voice. "That I did. And look what I brought back!"

Historia takes something out from inside her pocket, and I tsk. It's a goddamn seashell—looks like she managed to smuggle something away from right under my nose when I wasn't looking, the idiot. For all she knows, it could be poisonous.

She's almost as clueless as four eyes.

"If you place it by your ear, you can hear the ocean!"

The children gasp in pure delight, and now they all fight for a chance to hear the ocean from inside that coiled seashell.

Not that I have the heart to tell them it's just the air travelling through the whorl of the shell, but so long as it feeds their little childish fantasies, so be it.

After all, it could be some time before they get the chance to hear the sound of real ocean waves with all the shit that's happening right now. A real, real long time.

I sigh, climbing out of the carriage at last as I tip the driver. "Thanks, old man."

The old guy's eyes widen when he sees the gold sovereign coin I tossed his way—one minted the same year Historia took the throne— and now he pockets it away, a crooked smile stretching across his shrivelled face. "Thank you, brave hero of Shiganshina."

He does a heart salute next, doing it all wrong, of course, and I try not to show him how pissed I am at the obnoxious gesture.

He means well, I guess.

The driver grabs the reins of his horse, wiggling his brows, and what's his problem, seriously? (I don't swing that way). "And a little advice for the lady problems... When they give you the silent treatment... run... run for the hills!"

He whips the reins and the horse trots off, and I scowl at the back of his grey head. Not that I asked for his advice, but I'm not running toward any hills.

I can handle Historia all on my own, thank you. Lady or not, she's still a brat.

The children finally have a full shot view of me now since the carriage has pulled away, and they look as if they're seeing a living legend.

"Captain Levi!"

All at once, they surround me, and I just go with the flow now. Depending on what mood I'm in, I may even let them touch me, but not today. Right now they can admire me from afar.

"Woah, not so fast, brats. Three feet."

They stop just three feet away, and it seems I have them well trained. I sense Historia scowling at me from the corner of my eye, probably assessing whether I am true father material...

I'm not.

I hope she's not too disappointed.

The little brats stare at me slack-jawed, and I wonder when they'll grow tired of looking at me. Despite my grand title, I'm not that impressive; I'm just your average guy. Besides, they literally saw me just three days ago before Historia's state visit to the coast. Yet they still regard me like I'm some shining knight on a silver-white charger.

Speaking of said white charger, I need to go and take Silver for a ride. The poor mare has been stuck in stables for days. The stable hand did promise he would take her for a ride every day along with Historia's black stallion, Midnight.

Thomas beams, pointing at my sheathed sword. "Did you protect Princess Historia from any sea monsters, Captain Levi?"

I stare at the kid as if he's grown an extra head. Sea monsters? Unless there are swimming titans out there now, I don't want to know what kinds of books he's been reading.

I look at the kid pointedly now. "How many times do I have to tell you? It is Queen Historia. Not princess."

Historia's eyes burn into my skull, but more fool her for letting those brats address her wrong. A queen shits all over a princess, and she knows it.

The children blink at me like the idiots they are, and they really are hopeless. Historia shakes her head in disapproval, and I grit my teeth, heading for the stables.

"I'll be at the stables..."

I walk off without so much as giving her a second glance and maybe the old guy was right. Maybe a woman's ire is something to be feared.

When I arrive at my destination, I find the stable hand brushing Silver's coat with a curry comb.

The kid's fantastic with horses. Maybe even more so than Her Majesty. In fact, the animals at the farm seem to gravitate to him—even the chickens like him.

His light blue eyes expand the moment he sees me, and now he stammers, "S-Sir Captain Levi... you're... you're back..."

"That I am."

"And... Her Majesty? Is she back too?"

I regard him carefully when he mentions the queen. Those blue eyes seem to sparkle a little more. Yet I put it to one side and join him inside Silver's stall, and now I dwarf in comparison.

The big oaf is six foot three after all — a whole twelve inches bigger than me. But I put my frustrations aside as I pat my fair horse.

Silver licks my hand, and now the stresses of the last few days disappear.

"How's she been?" I ask the tall stable hand.

A warm smile spreads across his rosy cheeks, and now he seems to forget all about me as he pets Silver's coat. "Excellent. I've never met a horse with a finer temperament. She's a real gem. You got yourself a beauty here, Captain..."

I try to pretend I don't hear the double meaning in his words as I know he's talking about more than one beauty. I've seen the way he looks at Historia when he thinks no one's looking. And I would punch him in his stupid, rosy face if he weren't so annoyingly nice.

I've never met a nicer guy. He's always the first to offer to do any menial task at the farm and never complains. Albeit a little on the slow side, he's a hard worker, preferring to keep to the shadows while men like me get all the limelight.

It's almost not fair.

He's not only ridiculously tall but strong too. The titans would have had nothing on him if he had decided to join the ranks of the Survey Corps. Yet the only weapon I've seen him yield is a pitchfork as he hauls large barrels of hay as if they're nothing but pillows.

Despite his impressive stamina, he's still shit scared of me. The moment I stepped into the stable, he shrank.

Ironic how a giant can be afraid of an elf...

At that thought, the stable doors slide open, and now the big oaf and I turn just in time to see Her Majesty stepping into the threshold, her hands on her hips.

I can almost feel the heat radiating off the big oaf's body when he sets sights on the queen, and now he turns as red as a tomato.

Poor guy... he's shy. I bet he doesn't even know how to talk to women.

Historia glances at the farmhand, and her angry face softens. "Could you please give us a few moments? I wish to speak with the captain alone."

He bows his head, shuffling out the stall as he ambles toward the door with his tail between his legs. Historia steps aside so he can pass, and the fleeting look he gives her next could break your heart.

It's infatuation. Pure and simple. I should be angry since it's my girl he's pining for, but truth be told, I find it hard to be mad at the guy. As I said, he's too nice, and I've always revered kindness in a person.

One of the criteria for why I handpicked Petra to join my squad all those years ago. As well as her highly suspicious nature.

The stable hand was one of the boys who used to throw rocks at the queen, coincidentally enough, when she still lived at her father's old farmstead. But he's obviously turning all that around. Not long after she settled in at the orphanage, he turned up out of the blue one day to do free manual labour, and he's been here ever since.

With the farmhand finally out of the picture, Historia turns her attention back onto me, and I roll my eyes.

Great, I'm about to get a 'scolding'. Maybe I should have listened to the old cabbie and ran for the hills as he advised.

Instead, I pet Silver's muzzle, concentrating on her soft coat—farm boy did a good job in the end. Midnight rumbles in his own stall somewhere as he's obviously ecstatic to see his rider, but the queen only has eyes for me.

"Care to tell me why you decided to sulk and storm off just now? Look... I know you're mad at me, but that is no reason to take out your frustrations on the children. They did nothing wrong."

I grind my teeth as I keep patting Silver. "I did not take out my frustrations on the kids. I just wanted to see my horse."

"Well, you've seen her. Now come back inside the house. There's someone I would like you to meet."

I produce a gravelly sigh, closing my eyes. "Fine... Just give me a few more moments."

I still feel her eyes boring into my back as I continue stroking Silver. She leaves at last, shutting the door behind her slowly, and I guess the old cabbie was right. Women are deadly when they're silent, deliberating.

But I guess that makes two of us. I'm not exactly pleasant either when I'm reflective—mostly because I'm thinking up twenty ways I can stab a man before he so much as comes near me.

After a few more moments with my precious mare, I leave the stable and enter the farmhouse. And the second I step into the kitchen, I'm greeted with a horrific sight.

In Historia's arms is a miniature titan.

My heart pounds as the creature stares at me with big, bulbous eyes, and I back away slowly, hoping that it doesn't sense fear.

Yet despite my newfound terror, the queen is completely oblivious as she holds the chubby little thing in her arms, and she's actually smiling at it.

Historia fixes her blue eyes on me, saying in a sweet, buttery voice, "Captain, say hello to Abigail. Our newest member of the orphanage. Isn't she adorable?!"

I stare at the queen aghast. Kittens are adorable. Not this gummy, stinky creature that still stares at me like I've grown an extra ten limbs.

The queen approaches me, shoving the tiny ass titan into my arms, and now those bulbous eyes are inches from mine. My heart picks up again as I know it definitely senses fear now, and why is it making that strange face?

One moment it's staring at me, and then the next it starts wiggling its mouth, emitting a high-pitched squeal, and now I toss the thing that Historia calls 'adorable' back into her arms, dashing out the room.

Shit. It's calling for backup just like the Female Titan used to do. Every man for himself.

Historia looks stunned as I storm out the kitchen and then down the front steps of the farmhouse, making a beeline for the stables.

"Wait... Levi!"

Yet I go on, having only one thing in my sights now—the hills. The old cabbie was right.

I should have run for the hills all along.

That's the first time I have ever held a baby, and it will surely be my last. And Historia actually wants me to put one of those things inside of her. Over my dead body.

I am not father material. And the sooner she learns that the better.

Just like my late Uncle Kenny used to say: "I'm not cut out to be some kid's dad."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I know, there are swimming titans now...
> 
> Levi and babies are so funny together. I know the feeling though - babies stare at me too 😂
> 
> And Farmer Kun! He's finally made his appearance. I never wanted to say up above so you would get that 'O' moment while reading. There's a reason why he was never in HMKnight; I just didn't think his time in the story had come yet. Now it has, and for good reason.
> 
> Stay tuned and keep smiling! I will be back for more.
> 
> CartoonPrincessSigningOff.


	5. Historia

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: This one was sad to write as I almost didn't want to post, but it was cute. I love Baby Abigail. Abigail means "My father's joy" in Hebrew. Another ironic name choice (just like Tilly's) as it was the first one that popped into my head, based on a nursery rhyme I tried to write as a kid called Baby Abigail 😂

Levi didn't return until sundown after I introduced him to Baby Abigail for the first time, and seriously... what the hell is wrong with him? You would think I had handed him a live grenade, not a human baby!

And poor Abigail has been traumatised ever since. It's like she picks up on his negative energy, screaming bloody murder whenever he enters the room, and the feeling's mutual. The moment that baby girl releases a loud, ear-piercing shriek, humanity's so-called strongest will run for the hills on his silver-white horse, disappearing for an entire day.

He's such a baby, and at times it feels as if I have two babies to look after now. Abigail won't be at the orphanage for very long. Babies are always adopted first, especially as she's at that adorable age where she's just started crawling around the floor, and she's so precious.

And it just makes my uterus cry out for one of my own. She brings out the mother in me, and I can't get enough of her.

She has a smile for everyone; the nannies, the children, the farmhands, and most of all, me.

The only one she doesn't smile for is Levi, which is perfectly understandable. He's being such a rotten asshole lately, and one of these days, I will have to pin him down to the floor and set him straight.

The only other one who doesn't like her is Erwin. But he's a cat, and cats hate everyone. Lady is a little suspicious of her too, but the sweet pup will stand guard and watch the baby if I need to go and make a quick errand upstairs.

I'm not the sole caregiver at the orphanage. It would be unrealistic for a single eighteen-year-old girl to run an entire establishment all by herself, which was the reason why I hired the nannies. But truth be told, I just want Baby Abigail all to myself.

I hope the other children don't get jealous. I'm playing favourites and I should stop. But it will be good practice to see if I actually have what it takes.

I know I will make a fantastic mother, but it's hard not to doubt myself at times considering I didn't have the best example growing up. But I have a big heart with so much love to give.

The children play outside with Lady while I read at the kitchen table. Abigail rolls around on the floor, chewing on a wooden spoon, and it looks like someone's teething.

Right now she's making the most adorable baby sounds, and that's when I decide to toss the book aside and play with her instead.

Picking her up, I place her on my lap so I can bounce her on my knee. Luckily for me, she doesn't spit-up on me this time as I learned that the hard way.

Instead, she coos and babbles as I pull funny faces, and she makes me feel like the funniest person inside the walls.

Next, I take her dimpled little hands in mine, place them over my eyes, then shout, "Peekaboo!" She squeals like I'm the world's best comedian, and I just can't help myself anymore.

I laugh along with her now, and she makes me feel so good and light inside. All the heaviness and anxiety that has festered over the last few years dissolves instantly, and I can't believe how pure she is. And I know it with a certainty now: I want a baby of my own.

I know they don't stay this way forever, but still. I need to feel the bond between a mother and a child—show the world that my own neglectful mother didn't ruin me.

"Are you liking life so far at the orphanage, hey, Abigail?"

"Agoo..." she replies and I melt.

So cute. She has soft blond curls and big, beautiful blue eyes, and for a moment I imagine she would be how my own child would look.

All of a sudden, her gummy smile vanishes, and now she wiggles her bottom lip. Was it something I said? Or maybe she needs another diaper change.

I sniff her butt. Nope, all clean. Then what? Could it just be me? Oh no... maybe I'm not cut out for motherhood after all!

That's when I sense the ominous shadow outside in the hallway, narrowing my eyes in suspicion, and now I try and placate the poor baby.

"Ssh, it's okay, it's okay... He won't hurt you. Not while I'm around."

I scowl up at the doorway, knowing he's listening to every word I say, and I'm getting sick of his sneaking around. "You can quite hiding now, Levi. I know you're out there."

There comes a grating sigh, and now he enters the kitchen without even bothering to look at me. Baby Abigail and I may as well be invisible. He goes straight to the sideboard for tea and judging by how tense he looks, it's desperate he wants to leave as quickly as possible.

He's like a little squirrel crawling out of a tree for nuts. A rare sight indeed. Any sudden noise, and he'll skedaddle.

Abigail's wailing has calmed down now, so I place her on the floor so she can roll around and play. I distract her with a pan and a wooden spoon, and she seems to forget all about the mean old captain as she shoves that fascinating spoon between her gums.

The moment Levi finishes pouring his tea, he grabs his cup by the rim, turns on his heels, then makes a beeline for the door. But I step in front of him, placing my hands on my hips. The look he gives me next could burn the whole world to mere ash.

But I'm not a little brat he can intimidate anymore; I'm his wife and queen, and the sooner he learns that the better.

"Oh no you don't. You will drink your tea in the kitchen like a civilised person."

His teeth clench as a red flash runs through both of his steel-grey eyes. Yet I don't cave, offering him a scowl to rival his own.

With an exasperated breath, he deigns himself to sit at the kitchen table at last, slurping angrily at his tea, and for one who acts so presentable all the time, he really is a loud slurper; I noticed it back when we were hiding from the government. It was after Hange told us about Pastor Nick's death. The wind blew outside, and then the room fell eerily silent. And then Levi picked up his teacup and slurped...

It's odd the little things you remember. In those days I was terrified of him, making sure I sat all the way at the opposite end of the table so I could be that much farther away from his brooding presence. In the end, it was the worst decision because our eyes would constantly meet, and then I would freeze up being the nervous little fifteen-year-old that I was back then.

But look at me now, bossing him around and wanting his babies of all things.

How things change.

I sit across from him at the table, and now I'm the one keeping a constant eye on him while he shies away. He's really not the hotshot everyone makes him out to be; I can't believe I was intimidated by him once upon a time.

I know why he won't look me in the eyes. He wants to avoid all baby talk.

After all... he still hasn't given me his answer.

I clear my throat. "Levi?"

He places his cup down, shutting his eyes. "Not... not now, Historia..."

It's a good job baby Abigail is here after all. At least now I can control my anger, and not yell at him from across the table.

I shake my head, keeping my calm. "No. I think now is a perfect time. It's been five days since we got back from the coast. Five days and you still haven't given me your answer."

His eyes remain closed as he silently contemplates what I say. When he opens them again, he gazes at everything but me, and he's... sweating.

I raise a brow, folding my arms. "Well?"

After a few silent beats, he finally lifts his gaze, and his expression makes my world shatter to pieces.

I already know what his answer will be...

He's genuinely never looked so torn as his eyes shine wet, and it almost looks as if he's crying. My own eyes burn too.

"I'm... sorry, Historia... but... my answer is no. I don't want to have children."

I claw desperately onto hope as my dream slips further and further away. "B-but you're only saying that because of how everything is right now. I understand. There are too many uncertainties. Who knows whether we will be alive next year? Even tomorrow—"

"Stop. You'll just make things worse. Besides, that's not my sole reason..."

I blink tears away, my breaths coming fast as I try to see a way around this. Anything that will change his mind. "I... I think I get it now. After all, I'm still pretty young. You want me to live a little first. After all, you're much older than I am and at that stage where you're ready to settle—"

"That's enough, Historia... You'll only get yourself hurt."

My soul rips in half as his words start sinking in, and now I breathe carefully, trying to stop the tears. "Then what? Why don't you want to have a child with me...?"

My pathetic, girlish voice echoes through the room as it seems to rattle something deep inside of Levi. Now he looks me straight in the eyes, his expression so broken and defeated... I die a little inside.

I can't help myself anymore. The tears escape, and now I'm the one looking away from him.

It hurts so much. It's like the ground has been swept away from right under my feet. Levi, who I thought was my rock—my confidant—has just broken my heart and robbed me of my dreams.

And just think we made all those vows together when we got married on a whim down in the underground, and I'm starting to think that that was a big mistake.

Maybe we weren't destined for each other after all, despite our chemistry. We even have our own PATH yet that doesn't necessarily mean we are fated to be together.

Many people fall in love all the time but eventually part ways, and now my lungs ache at the thought of being separated from Levi.

No... it would hurt too much. He's my knight; I need him.

I can't navigate this cruel world alone.

"You want the god honest truth?" he says at last, his voice thick with emotion. "I'm not cut out to be a father. I've never even considered having children. Life's just too complicated for people like us. And the last thing I want to do is willingly bring someone else into this ugly world. It... wouldn't be fair..."

When he says "People like us" he means Eldians. Or more specifically Island Devils. There are people out there that think we shouldn't breed. They would rather see us exterminated before we even have a chance of producing more demons.

It's sad to think that there are some twisted folk out there who would jump at the chance of seeing that innocent little baby babbling on the floor beside me dead and cold. Just because of her race.

Barely a year old, and the world has already been so unfair to her. Both of her parents are dead. Her mother died during childbirth and her father of suicide just a few weeks after.

Who knows whether there will even be a future for her? For us?

What if she doesn't live to see her first birthday? Live to lose her first tooth, experience her first kiss, or fall in love and get married?

The world really is a dark, cruel place. At least for people like us...

And that's why I have to inherit Zeke Jaeger's Beast Titan when the time finally comes. So I can maintain the power of the Rumbling for another fifty years so our island can develop its artillery.

I squeeze my eyes, letting the tears drip down my cheeks. "But... I have no other choice. I'm of 'royal blood'. I have to bear children for the next thirteen years whether I like it or not!"

My voice bounces off the walls as I lose my temper at last, and now Abigail starts crying again. I pick her up, bouncing her on my knee to pacify her tears, but no matter what I do or say, she won't stop.

Babies aren't idiots after all. They pick up on bad energy, and mine is in complete shambles right now.

It doesn't look as if I will even get to choose the father of my child now, but I understand Levi's reasons. He doesn't want to bring a child into this bloodstained world, and who am I to argue against that? After all, Levi and I were never given a choice either; if we had known what kinds of lives we would have lived beforehand... would we have wanted to be born in the first place?

I know I wouldn't have chosen the life of an illegitimate child. One who was only born in the hopes that her mother could make a better life for herself. And I know Levi wouldn't have chosen to be raised in filth. Although he loved his mother, he hadn't lived the happiest of childhoods.

But I don't agree with what he said: that he's not cut out to be a father. He's wrong; he would make a fantastic father. He has a good heart after all. He cares too much about people. Hence why he fights to protect us all.

Finally, I look up, shrugging my shoulders. "Well... now what? What's going to happen between us?"

He regards me carefully from the corner of his eye, and the guilt is all too clear in his usually cold grey iris. "Nothing. No matter what happens... in the end, Historia... I will still always be your knight. I will stay by your side. I swore an oath to it."

I suck in a shaky breath. "Even... even when war calls? After all, the Survey Corps will need you again someday soon. I can figure that much out."

Levi bows his head, and now I can't see his face anymore as his hair falls over his eyes. He doesn't reply. His duty should be to me first and foremost as my sworn knight, but at the same time, he is and will always be a soldier— a Scout. It would be selfish of me to keep him off the battlefield.

Yet the thought of losing him there is too much to bear yet again. I've already lost two people: Frieda and Ymir. I can't stomach losing anyone else.

My list of lost loved ones will never be as big as his, but still... I'm not as strong as Levi. Another death in my life and I will keel.

Levi rises to his feet, and I watch him strangely as he comes to stand beside me. His grey eyes settle on Abigail as the baby tenses in my arms, and I don't blame her. He's wearing his scary frown as usual.

But then out of nowhere, he takes her from my arms and holds her up at arm's length, and now the two of them hold a staring match.

Baby Abigail seems fascinated by the captain now as a deep frown creases her eyebrows. Levi looks just as engrossed. Then after what feels like an eternity, Abigail finally smiles at him, and she makes an adorable "goo" sound, blowing spit bubbles from her lips.

Levi glances my way, and the faintest of smiles curves his own face. "I guess she is kind of cute. Don't tell anyone what I said. Especially Four Eyes... I have a reputation to uphold after all."

I half laugh, half cry as I focus on the present, pushing all negative thoughts aside. There's no point dwelling on things that have yet to happen.

All that matters is that Levi is here with me now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AN: Oh, Historia... you deserve all the happiness and so much more. It's really not fair. Even if you don't get your baby in canon, I will make sure you get one at least in this fic 😥
> 
> Chapter 134 broke my heart. I want both Historia and baby to survive. She still only had a few months to go 😥
> 
> I have my plans for Levi in this fic, but do stay tuned to see what I have in store for both Levi and Historia. Will Levi agree to be the father in the end? So many questions, but people change their minds all the time...
> 
> Keep smiling and keep doing whatever it is that makes you happy.
> 
> CartoonPrincessSigningOff.


	6. Levi

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AN: This is another heart-breaking chapter. So much emotion. So I hope you are prepared.

The smell of baby shit fills the room as Historia changes Abigail's diaper and holy fuck… It's worse than some of the smells that used to come from the underground sewers.

Not even I can keep a straight face as I resist the urge to vomit all over my boots.

Disgusting.

I promised I would help out a little more since I've been such an ass these past few days, but like hell will I be cleaning any shitty asses.

Historia stands over a baby changing table in Baby Abigail's room. The little spoiled princess even gets her own allocated room at the orphanage since she's the only baby present. There are rows of unoccupied cribs in the beautiful, sunlit room, one adorned with childish pictures of rainbows and clouds.

Abigail babbles adorably as Historia sings her a sweet song, and the baby's mesmerized by her voice. I'm mesmerized by her voice. Who knew she had such a good set of pipes?

How on earth is Historia even real? At times it really does feel as if she escaped out of the pages of a book.

The young queen is a natural with babies, and it really does warm your heart, especially since she was denied this very attention herself. I bet Historia had to change her own ass as a baby while her mother was off reading somewhere.

Tch, that Alma…

But I have no doubt in my mind that Historia will make an excellent mother. She knows what it is to be denied a mother's love. So she will give it back and so much more...

"And then when we're done cleaning up your stinky poop, Captain Levi is going to help me tie your diapee…"

Wait, what?

"Excuse me?" I say.

"That's right, Captain Levi... We can't very well let little Abigail crawl around naked now. Her cute wittle butt will get cold..."

I grit my teeth. "I am not changing a..."

One frosty look was all it took from Historia, and now I peel my back away from the wall, helping her fold that white piece of cloth around that baby's ass.

I know what she's trying to do, but it won't work. She won't make me change my mind...

Historia holds the cloth in place while I fasten it with a pin, and fuck... this is dangerous work. That prick is pretty sharp after all, and now I have newfound respect for all mothers out there.

How do they do this multiple times a day?

Finally, I step back from the changing table, wiping the sweat off my forehead. Not even fighting titans was this rough.

Historia beams down at Abigail, lifting her up from the table. "All clean!"

The baby squeals, waving her chubby little arms around as Historia blows a raspberry onto her cheek, and despite myself, a ghost of a smile crosses my lips.

One day, when war is no longer lingering on the horizon... I could give her a baby. Maybe.

"I know you're smiling..." Historia says, and my mouth falls flat at her accusation.

"No I wasn't."

Historia glances up at me, grinning from ear to ear, and we share a small moment. Shit. Let's hope she didn't hear my thoughts just now. That's the last thing I need.

The sound of a carriage pulls up outside and Historia gasps. "They're here."

A sinking sensation fills my stomach. Abigail's being adopted today, and once again we have to say goodbye to a child.

But it's for the best. We have to let them go sometimes. Yet Historia still holds onto that precious, golden-haired baby like she's her lifeline.

She doesn't want to let go. But she must.

I step forth. "Time to go, Historia."

The queen holds onto Abigail that little bit longer, sniffing her blonde curls, and finally, she meets my eyes, a determined look inside her sparkling ocean blues. "All right."

…

We all stand on the porch outside the farmhouse, watching Baby Abigail leaving inside the arms of her new mother and father.

The young couple fell in love the moment they laid eyes on her, and not long after Historia led them away to her 'office' to sign some paperwork.

Just a few weeks it took for her to find a family in the end. The young couple—who are even younger than I am—are going to make excellent parents, I'm sure. Their story is a heart-breaking one; the woman can't conceive a child, and the man loves his wife so much that he promised he would give her a baby no matter what.

And now they've got her at last. Not that I believe in fate, but I like to think that she had a helping hand in bringing them together, and I'm sure they will all live amazing lives.

I just feel for the older kids. I noticed the heartbroken looks on all of their faces back when little Krista was adopted, and it really is a shame.

Some of these kids are pushing on ten, and it gives me a heavy heart. As a former unloved brat myself, I feel it even harder. And for once I just wish that someone would take a chance on an older child. They still have a lot of love to give.

No doubt they are loved by the queen, but they deserve their own family just as much as Abigail or Krista.

Historia is beside herself with tears, and I close my eyes as I pick up on her grief. It weighs me down as we both watch that young mother carrying her new baby girl away—something Historia yearns for herself.

I feel like the worst person who ever lived to deny her that experience, but I still stand by what I said. At least I think I do. I... just don't know anymore. Sometimes, I think I do want to give her a child, but then other times I don't. But whenever I saw her holding and playing with that precious baby girl, my frozen heart thawed.

Lately, I've been wondering what it would be like to have her eyes on a little version of me. Hopefully, our child would inherit her looks. No woman in her right mind would want a baby with my miserable, glum face.

Having children has never crossed my mind—although I always used protection when I lived in the underground in fear of getting some poor girl pregnant. And when I first joined the Scouts, it just seemed unreasonable to even consider starting a family.

It's an unwritten code of the Survey Corps: either fight the titans and pave the way for Humanity's future, or live a humble, easy life within the walls and start a family.

We're the only regiment who have to choose between the two extremes. The MPs and the Garrison have the luxury of choosing the military and starting a family, and many of them do, in fact, start families. Nile Dok is one of those lucky people with his three daughters. Those kids are less likely to be told one day that their Daddy didn't survive his recent expedition beyond the walls...

No little kid needs to find out that their dad was eaten alive by a titan. It was bad enough having to tell a parent that their child never survived one of Erwin's expeditions, just like the time I had to tell Petra's father. And I will never forget the look of betrayal on his face. He blamed me for her death after all, just like I blamed myself.

After all, I should have been looking after her. She was in my squad as I had taken her under my wing, and now she's dead.

"You... you were supposed to keep her safe..." he'd said. "And now… now she's gone. My… my little girl… my darling little girl…"

Shit. I hate it when I feel like this. Old memories start to resurface, and it took everything in me just to bury that one deep away.

"Levi? Are... are you okay?" a tender voice asks me now, breaking me away from my painful memories, and I look to the queen.

Historia's blue eyes bore deep into my soul. I don't know if she can see my thoughts via our shared Path, but judging by her expression she must know that I'm remembering my dark past.

It's funny to think that Historia was with us in that expedition under the guise of Krista Lenz. I don't recall what part of the formation she was in, but I do remember her face amongst the fresh-faced recruits of the 104th. She always stood out as the little blonde who hung around with Ymir.

I wasn't that much of an asshole back then; I did take the time to memorize the faces of each new recruit, and I still do to this day, even if I don't formally introduce myself. It's the least I can do since they're sacrificing a lot for the greater good.

But the 104th I did take the time to memorize—their faces, not so much their names. They were different from previous years' recruits because they had actually seen hell. It was not long after the battle of Trost, so I knew that those kids had what it takes to see it through Erwin's expedition.

Once, I overheard Gunther and Eld measuring up the 104th when they were still recruits (Sans Eren), guessing who would be the most likely to survive. They picked Reiner Braun first, of course, but they obviously had no idea he was the armoured titan back then. Then Mikasa came second since no one can miss that Ackerman flair. Then Bertoldt, Jean, Connie, Sasha, Ymir, Armin, and finally, Krista...

Sad to think that all those baby-faced recruits made it home while those two died in the end, but I remember exactly what they had said about Krista—I mean Historia.

"A real shame too. Such a cutie..."

That was when I intervened because I know they were ruling her out because of her smaller stature. Height is irrelevant to one's strength. Look at me. I'm not exactly a titan either...

Then there was the time we found out about Krista Lenz's real identity from Pastor Nick, and when Armin described Krista to me and Hange, I knew exactly who he was talking about.

So don't go around thinking that the queen was invisible to me before she became relevant in our quest to save humankind. She always was relevant. And still is.

She blinks at me in wonder. "Wait... you actually remember my face from when I first joined the Scouts? I... never knew I stood out so much to you. In fact, I always assumed one had to earn the right until they were acknowledged by the great Captain Levi. I'm... surprised you knew that I existed. I'm... flattered..."

Dang. She is reading my thoughts. I'm normally good at hiding my feelings from her, but my emotions are in shambles right now, so my guard is down.

My best bet is to act indifferent. I'm good at that.

"Yeah, so? I remember a lot of things, Your Majesty. Don't go around thinking that you're anything special now."

The smile doesn't leave her eyes, despite her overwhelming sadness. "Did you know that I said hello to you once in the hallway? Yet you completely blanked me."

Oh, I remember... I was off finding Hange once at Head Quarter's and Krista just happened to be walking down the hall in the opposite direction. She froze up and said "hello", but I decided to ignore her and continue on my way. I may have even given her a look of contempt.

I was never the most socially graceful.

Her eyes narrow, and now she places her hands on her hips. "You do remember. You could have at least said hello back to me."

I look her straight in her angry blue eyes, finally saying what I should have all those years ago. "Hello. There, happy? Now you can sleep easier at night."

She shakes her head in disapproval then turns to look back at the carriage. The new family disappears inside, and now they drive off down the road.

Historia releases a shuddery breath. "I... hate it when they leave."

I regard her from the corner of my eye, watching how her emotions betray her big, blue irises. Her emotions project onto me, but truth be told, I was already feeling like shit. "Yeah... me too. They... become a part of you."

Historia gazes at me in surprise, as if it was the last thing she expected me to say, and now she lifts her hand tentatively toward my shoulder, my body tensing in anticipation of her touch. But her fingers barely graze the material of my jacket when one of the nannies comes rushing to her side.

"Your Grace, come quick. Thomas and Zachary are fighting again."

Historia's eyes widen, and now she puts on her mom hat as she follows the nanny into the house, leaving me alone on the porch with the kids. Many of them have dispersed, but a few do linger as they watch that carriage vanishing in the distance.

One of those kids is Tilly. She's come a long way since the day I first met her, lingering inside doorways like a ghost, but it will be some time before she's ready to be adopted. Whenever potential new parents visit the orphanage, she shies away, and now my heart cracks for a very different reason.

I can see it in her big, onyx eyes that she wants a family of her own, and I wish I knew the right thing to say.

The other kids vanish at last, and now she's the only child left on the porch as she can't take her eyes off the road. Everyone has gone inside to investigate the fight between Thomas and Zachary, and the little brats make such a ruckus (it's like listening to Eren and Jean again).

All the while I can hear Historia breaking them apart. "Hey, that's enough you two. Thomas, no kicking! Zachary, no biting!"

I give a small "tch", casting my eyes on the road again. The carriage has finally gone—Baby Abigail has left our lives for good.

Tilly still doesn't tear her gaze away from the road, and I've never met such a haunted pair of eyes. With a heavy sigh, I place a hand on her small shoulder. "Time to come inside, Tilly."

Finally, she pulls her attention away from the road, looking up at me at last, and my breath catches in my throat.

Inside her black, infinite eyes, I see a reflection of myself—small, ragged, and starved—and I forget how to breathe.

I'm seeing a glimpse of my own wretched childhood inside her big, reflective orbs after all because I know her pain. The pain of feeling lonely and unloved

Her lip shakes, and I have no idea what to do as the small child bears her heart to me. "D-do... do you think that I could ever be adopted one day too, Captain Levi?"

Something inside me dies when I hear her small, fragile voice. It's written all over her after all—self-doubt.

Tilly doesn't believe that she will ever be adopted. Yet she still clings onto hope, trusting that I have the right thing to say.

As if I have all the answers.

So I try my darn hardest to remain poker-faced, choosing my next words carefully lest I break a little girl's heart.

After all, these words may stay with her forever.

"Yes," I reply, my voice cold and detached. "I believe that there is a family out there for you, Tilly..."

My words sound so empty since I'm not so good at expressing myself or knowing how to comfort someone when they're down. Kenny found me on the brink of death after all, then raised me up to be a killer.

I'm not a shoulder to cry on.

Tilly shakes her head, jutting out her lip. "N-no... no one will ever want to adopt me... b-because... because I'm not as cute or pretty as baby Abigail or Krista after all..."

The tears fall at last, and now all I can do is watch as the small child bawls her eyes out. Hell... why does a five-year-old even care about what she looks like?

"T-Tilly..." I whisper, my hardened resolve shattering piece by piece as her whimpers coil around my heart.

"I'm... t-too ugly after—"

The child doesn't get to finish her sentence as I drop to my knees, taking her small shoulders in my hands, and now she gives me her full attention. Her dark eyes widen as I see my adult reflection inside her onyx, and she's terrified. Yet even if I may frighten her now with my ferocity, I need to make her see what I see...

The most precious child who has ever lived.

"Tilly. Don't you say that word ever again. You are far from ugly... You are the most beautiful child to have ever graced this cruel, undeserving world. And do you want to know why? It is because you are strong. You are a fighter, a true soldier... And that is what true beauty looks like. Don't ever forget that."

She watches me spellbound as my words settle inside those big, haunted eyes, and she truly is wise beyond her years. For a moment I see an older version of herself remembering these very words in the not too distant future, and I know it with certainty now.

Tilly will survive... She will see through this ugly war just like any member of the Survey Corps because she's a true soldier. The best one I know.

Now the vision of her older self turns at last, and the Wings of Freedom are displayed proudly on her back as she charges into battle, and what do you know...

She's going to be a Scout. Just like her daddy Levi.

My eyes expand as reality finally sinks in. All this time... I was already a father. A father to Tilly.

It seems I really did take this little girl under my wing after all as she's going to grow up to be just like me.

She will even fight like me too, and I've seen those moves before.

That's how every Ackerman fights.

Hold on... could she be...?

Tilly throws her arms around me, crying into my neck, and I pat her back. That's when the sound of thundering hooves catches my attention, and I pull away from the child, rising to my feet.

A soldier baring the military emblem stops before the porch, and now my heart plummets to the deepest depths of my soul.

The soldier climbs down from his horse, giving me a heart salute. "Captain Levi. You have been summoned by Premier Darius Zackly. He wishes to speak with you urgently."

Urgently?

The door opens behind me, and now Historia appears by my side, and I can't bring myself to look at her.

Instead, I swallow a lump that's lodged in my throat, descending the steps of the porch, and now I say, "Find the stable hand and tell him to prepare my horse. Looks like I've got a meeting with the commander-in-chief..."

Like I have a choice. This sucks.

Before I even make it to the bottom step, a hand grips my shoulder, and I turn back, peering into the sad, ocean blue eyes of Historia.

The sorrow is all too evident on her beautiful, heart-shaped face as something dies inside me.

We're... going to be separated.

"Please... please don't leave me..." she whispers inside my head.

I close my eyes as everything crashes around me. I wasn't prepared for this...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AN: As I said, it's heartbreaking. It's killing me to write. I just want these two to have a happy ending.
> 
> I love Tilly and Levi moments the most. I never realised either that she had already become his kid, and it's so sweet.
> 
> Nile did lose his life in the end, and Marie and the girls will go on without him 😥
> 
> Stay tuned. I'm starting to find this a struggle to write since it is so heartbreaking, so please tell me how you are liking this story so far. Are you intrigued to read more? Despite how sad it is?
> 
> CartoonPrincessSigningOff.


	7. Historia

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: This one was so sad to write. I cried a little writing it. I say little because I don't want to sound like a wuss 😂
> 
> Enjoy

My voice fails me as I say the words that I long to say out loud through our shared path, hoping he may hear.

After all, we are connected now. We opened a gateway between our minds; we bonded our souls together. So how could they want to break us apart?

Levi's face remains a mask of hardened stone, and I envy his strength. He stays so calm and devoid of emotion, but I know he's dying inside.

This is breaking his heart as much as it's breaking mine, and I just can't take it. The sight of someone leaving me yet again.

My mother left, then Ymir left.

And now Levi's leaving...

My eyes brim with salty tears as I know I'm going to expose our secret to the soldier, but I don't care anymore.

They can't tear us apart.

I expect Levi to be mad at me for crying in front of the soldier, but instead, he just keeps his frozen face on me, his gaze penetrating deep into my soul, and that's when I see it — a distant glimmer...

He is hurting, and that just makes my eyes leak all the more.

It's... just not fair. I thought we'd at least get a little more time together before we had to say goodbye. But it was inevitable in the end.

It was only a matter of time until the higher-ups noticed that something was amiss between us, coming around the orphanage to investigate.

The orphanage Levi and I built together...

Levi was the first person who believed in me after all, helping me bring my vision to life, so I owe him everything.

He's been my knight much longer than I realised, and now... now he's leaving.

Finally, he opens his mouth, saying to the soldier as he never takes his eyes off me. "Can... can we have a few more moments, please?"

The soldier watches us suspiciously, his eyes falling on the copious amount of tears running down my cheeks. I'm not so good at hiding my emotions; I never was, even though I've tried countless times.

In the end, they always win.

"All right. The premier never gave a specific time frame."

The man turns his back to us, showing us the military insignia of his uniform as he blesses us with the time we crave.

Levi marches up the porch steps, his spine military straight as he leads me into the farmhouse.

By now the children have all gathered as they watch the soldier outside, but Levi continues forth, climbing up the rickety stairs until we reach my room at the top of the house.

The moment he shuts the door, I completely fall apart, and now my cries bounce off the walls once the reality sinks in.

He's... leaving.

Levi looks around at me startled, then rushes to my side, clasping my shoulders. "Hey, pull it together... we have company."

I'm past the point of caring now as I throw my arms around him, crying into his solid chest, and Levi freezes. The crying doesn't stop. It only intensifies the more I'm near him, and now I try so hard to absorb his clean, fresh scent — the one with the hint of peppermint and cedar.

"P-please... d-don't go..."

He's silent above me as I only reach his neck, and after all these years, I'm still so short. The others went through growth spurts, yet I barely grew an inch.

Life really isn't fair.

I nuzzle my nose into his cravat, wishing that I could stay this way forever. His warmth comforts me, and they will have to pry my cold dead arms off him if that's what it takes to make him stay.

Finally, he musters up the strength to speak, his heart hammering as I feel it beneath his chest. "H-Historia..."

I shake my head, refusing to let go.

He starts to spasm, torn between letting me go and holding on forever, but he's still a soldier at heart; if he receives a summons from the premier, then he has no choice but to follow up on that order.

"Historia, please... don't... don't make this harder than it has to—"

Levi doesn't get to finish his sentence as I crush my mouth against him, bruising his lips in my desperate bid to make him stay.

"His-Histor... s-stop..." he gasps between my fervent kissing, but I'm too relentless.

I will kiss him until the end of time; if that's what it takes to make him stay. Next, I search his mouth with my tongue, licking the seams of his lips as I slip my way inside, but then he pushes me off him, staring at me with a mixture of irritation and disbelief.

Yet there is no denying the desire—that wanton lust as he wishes he could throw me down onto the bed and have his wicked way with me like he always does.

But then his desire soon morphs into remorse, and it's utterly useless. No matter what I do, he will leave.

It's the only way forward now. It's not like he's not needed elsewhere. Commander Hange Zoe will surely need him by her side again, just as he fought by Commander Erwin's side.

But I need him too; I need him to fight by my side and keep me safe, even if it's terribly selfish of me to make him stay. Otherwise, I'm left to fend for myself against the wolves of this kingdom.

This cruel world is no place for a lone queen after all.

His lips are red and swollen from our kiss as he studies me thoroughly, his gaze misty and wet as a distant sheen forms inside his cold, grey eyes. But then that concrete mask starts to crack, betraying all of his schooled emotions to the world, and now his true self is revealed.

Now I get to see the man beneath that fortified armour — armour that took years and years to build. It didn't crack when Erwin died. Nor did it crack when he lost Petra Ral and his first squad, or his Uncle Kenny.

But now it cracks for me, and it appears that I truly was the first to undo him. I guess I really am the worst girl who ever lived...

The last thing I want to do is break his heart. After all, he has the biggest heart of us all, because he understands. He knows what it is to suffer— a suffering that started back when he was just a small boy.

His steely eyes thaw, swimming with what looks like tears, and now one drips down his cheek. At once he covers his face, hiding his pain away from me as he mutters, "Shit."

I brave a step closer, reaching a hand out. "L-Levi...?"

He peers through his shaking fingers, watching me warily as he doesn't want me to get too close. Any closer and I may just break him.

After all, they are his tears now, not mine. But I'll be glad to be the one to pick up all his broken pieces and make him whole again.

I don't care what the premier says; this man is mine to cherish and love, and I will never let him go.

No one can break us apart. Not truly. We are destined. Fated soulmates, and we will get through this ugly war.

I move just a little bit closer, pulling his hand free from his face, and now I get a good look at his expression.

Our eyes meet, time ceasing to a halt as if it's just me and him left in the whole wide world now. And then without another word, we take each other in the arms, crying together at long last.

Though Levi doesn't weep. He just cries silent tears while I whimper against his chest, and his solid muscles muffle the sound.

He squeezes me tightly as I run my fingers through his black hair, brushing my palms over the velvet of his undercut.

"I'm... sorry... but I have to go. If word got out—"

"I-I know. It would tarnish the good name of the Survey Corps. A name that Erwin fought his whole life to accomplish. One that he even died for... I... wouldn't want that too. I was a Scout myself after all. As far as I'm concerned, you're all still my comrades."

He chuckles. "Does that mean I'm still your superior? Your captain?"

I laugh too. "Yeah, you wish..."

We stay that way for some time, seeming to come to some mutual agreement. He has to go. For now at least. And maybe when all is said and done, and we finally manage to convince Marley and the rest of the world that we mean no harm, then maybe... we can find peace.

A world where no one will keep us apart ever again; I have to believe it's possible.

We break apart, pressing our foreheads together. Levi inhales my scent, breathing me in as he slowly absorbs it to memory. I know I will be remembering his clean, peppermint smell, and the way his lips feel too.

Levi has surprisingly soft lips for one who talks so rough; I bet he moisturizes them.

"I love you, Historia, and I swear... I will return to you. As your sworn knight... just... give me the order."

I breathe him in too, absorbing his masculine scent to memory, and say, "Sir Captain Levi... I order you to come back to me one day. When your mission with the Scouts is over, you will return to the farm and sweep me up in your arms like a good knight. Because I'll be waiting, always, never taking my eyes off the southern skies... Now go on. Off you go to protect the realm."

He chuckles lightly again, his breath tickling my cheeks, and this is the part where we have to let go.

"Yes, Your Majesty. You have my word..."

Smiling to myself, I press a delicate kiss to his lips this time, and the moment our foreheads separate, a zap shoots through the both of us.

When I open my eyes again, I'm standing in a bright field of poppies. The beautiful red flowers stretch as far as the eyes can see, and I have no idea what is happening.

Yet I'm not the only one in this new, strange land. My knight is here with me too, and I see the same question in his widened eyes.

Where are we? How did we get here?

The field of poppies vanishes as quickly as it appears, and when I come to again, we're standing back in my room at the farmhouse.

I reach a hand to my forehead, meeting Levi's eyes. "Did... you see that too?"

"An endless field of red flowers? Yeah... I saw it."

"Poppies," I correct him, much to his chagrin, and I doubt he really cares what type of flowers they were.

A small smile tugs his lips, and I watch him strangely. "Well... it looks like we may still have a way to be together after all, Your Grace. It seems we have our very own little world now."

It takes a moment for his words to register, and when they do, my heart soars. Of course. Our Path.

There is a way for me and Levi to be together after all. No matter how far apart we are, and now I cry tears of joy as I take his cheeks in my hands.

"Then promise. Promise me you will find me in our path. That way, we can be together. Always..."

A passionate heat flashes through his eyes as I make him promise, and now he drops to one knee and takes my hand, staring at me so intently, a shiver goes up my spine. "I promise, Your Grace."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I didn't really think there was anything romantic about a desert as seen in the Paths in the canonverse of SNK, so I went with a beautiful field of flowers instead. It is likely to change too.
> 
> This is their own Path and isn't really connected to the one we see in the manga/anime. That one has the coordinate or the Subjects of Ymir's tree that shows their lineage through the years.
> 
> These were the plans I had when I first created Levi and Hisu's unique Path back in HMKnight as I am obsessed with surreal landscapes. I love writing about ghostly planes and the supernatural, and just let my mind wander.
> 
> I'm not sure why poppies though. They have many meanings throughout the world, but I just saw somewhere that they can mean passionate love between two lovers too. How sweet. My subconscious mind getting to work...
> 
> Thank you for reading and please leave a review.


	8. Levi

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AN: I'm so sorry for the absence lately. I decided to take a small hiatus. My reason for publishing less frequently is because I am waiting for the manga to end since I am still convinced Yams has something planned for Historia involving her pregnancy. Not long now, but I will try and do what I can until that pivotal moment. As soon as we find out what's really going on with Hisu, my fingers will be flying over the keyboard...
> 
> Also, if you haven't read Her Majesty's Knight, I pretty much summarize the story in this chapter. It may be a spoiler if you plan on reading it.

A storm cloud gathers over the farmhouse, chasing away the glorious sunshine from the last few days, and it almost seems ironic.

I always thought that I brought rainclouds wherever I went, but now I leave them behind in my wake.

The farmhand had gone and collected Silver like I asked while Historia and I said our final goodbyes, and now I suck in a deep, trembling breath as I take the leather reins from his giant hand.

The big lug watches me for some time, concern colouring his round, dumb features. He goes to open his mouth to speak, but then thinks better of it and keeps his silence. Next, his eyes search the porch where Historia waits with the children, and I'm too afraid to look at her.

Because if I do... I know I will run straight back to her, lifting her up in my arms as I spin her around, and it will be like a scene from a fairy-tale.

But real life isn't a fairy-tale. It's a dark, miserable place where dreams and hearts are broken, and I tighten my grip on the reins, pinching my eyes tight shut.

Mustn't look at her. Must ride forth and see what old beard face wants...

It's obvious why he has summoned my presence. Historia and I aren't stupid; he wants to know about the nature of our relationship and how it will impact the military's plans for her.

The last thing they want is little old me getting in the way. After all, my place is at the Survey Corps—not by the queen's side. I shouldn't be interfering in her affairs. Not anymore.

We're nothing to each other. Or so they want to believe...

Finally, I swing my leg over Silver's saddle, casting my eyes on the horizon. All the while, I can feel her ocean blue eyes on my back, and I don't have to look at her to know what kind of face she's pulling.

I can feel her emotions, hear her thoughts...

"Why won't he look at me?"

The guilt rips me apart as I try to keep my steady gaze on that distant line where the sky meets the earth, but she must understand... It's easier this way.

As I said, if I look at her, I may not have the strength and resolve to go on. I will only want to run back and sweep her up in my arms, but in the end, it's not about me; it's about her. So I will put my own feelings aside and spare her one last glance.

We may never see each other again. Well, not in the real world. We have our Path, but you never know when war could strike. It could be next year, next month, or even next week.

This is one of the reasons why the Scouts don't start families. It wouldn't be fair to our loved ones if we didn't return home one day, yet still... I harbour no regrets. Not a single one.

As Erwin always advised, I chose the path with the least regrets, and now I finally look back, settling my eyes on her blonde, ethereal form.

I will never regret falling in love with her. She made my broken, dead heart beat again for the first time in years, and for that, I will always be grateful.

So for her, I will live through this war... I'm a fighter, an Ackerman, and I will survive...

Her gorgeous eyes take my breath away, sending my heart into a spasm as my tongue swells twice its size, and it's true what they say...

She truly is a goddess — my goddess.

Tears drip down her cheeks, and how I wish I could be the one to dry them for her, but go forth I must.

The farmhand watches her miserably, and once again I see the pain in his eyes of wanting something he will never have.

Because Historia will be mine. Always.

I'll come back one day, I swear. We will see the other side of this ugly war. And then I can give her that baby that she so rightfully deserves.

Her eyes on a little version of me, or mine on a tiny version of her, it wouldn't matter. It would be our child, and I will love it fiercely. I would protect it with my life, just as I protected hers.

My gaze finds Tilly's tear-stained cheeks, and a new sense of determination washes through me. For that darling little girl, I'll come back.

Because she's just as much as my child as any future progeny of mine or Historia's. Tilly is my daughter, regardless of DNA.

Out of all the children, Tilly is the only one who knows that I have to leave, and her grasp on the world is truly remarkable.

I take the time to look at each of the children, and I know for a certainty that they will all find the homes that they rightfully deserve.

They don't understand yet that I won't be returning, and I don't want to be the one to break the bad news.

Historia will fill them in when I'm gone, and once again I will have to break more hearts.

Those kids idolise me after all. Many of them have lost their parents to a titan, and here I am, Humanity's Strongest—the man who has slain hundreds and hundreds of those naked beasts.

To them, I truly am a hero, and never before have I appreciated that title until I saw the awe in all of their innocent eyes.

I guess it's cool being some little kid's hero. Fifteen of them, in fact.

Next, my eyes find Erwin II perched upon a fence, and surprise, surprise, the cat couldn't give two shits that I'm leaving. He's too busy licking his ass.

If that's how he feels, then fine. Maybe I should take him back with me since it's about time Hange reunited with her pet.

Lady, however... the sweet little puppy scampers up to me, barking at me to get down from my horse.

After all, I was the one who saved her from that pet shop window. From one runt to another...

The spaniel will keep Historia company while I'm gone since she's a great companion.

The soldier mutters that it's time to leave, and I lock eyes with Historia for the last time, hoping she may hear the words that I wish to say out loud.

"So long, my queen..."

It takes her a moment to respond, and when she finally does, my heart skips a thousand beats.

"And you too, my knight..."

...

"Enter."

I enter the creepy old bastard's office, spying the emblems of each military regiment on the far side of the room, and there are the Wings of Freedom. The same wings that adorn the back of my blue coat and the pommel of my double-edged sword.

It's the same sword Historia knighted me with, and I clutch it to my side. It still hangs in its sheath, and it looks as if I will be switching back to ODM gear pretty soon.

Silence trickles through the spacious room, broken only by the sound of an ominous clock. I try not to show this man my true feelings as he's Head of State; he pretty much rules the walls while Historia acts as his pretty little figurehead, and the blood simmers in my veins.

I hate him. I hate them all. I know they'll throw Historia's life away the first chance they get, despite the contract we made with Azumabito.

After all, it's only a matter of time until Zeke steps foot on the island again, and not for the first time, I think of my vow to Erwin.

One day, Erwin... I'll kill him. Just as I promised...

But first, I'll bide my time, waiting for the perfect moment to strike. The hairy bastard thinks he can help our humble island, and he may just be right... So it looks as if my promise to Erwin will have to wait for a while.

Beard's face keeps his hawk-like gaze on me, forming his hands into a steeple shape. He may have come to the Survey Corps' aid once during our coup of the old regime, but right now, he's my enemy.

He's the one who makes the final call on Historia's life. I've been seeing the way those MPs have been eyeballing her lately, scheming away in their miserable little corners, and now that asswipe Nile Dok comes to mind.

Although I've never seen eye to eye with the wretched fool, I do have faith in him. I know he doesn't want any harm to come to Historia. He cares about our queen too after all—a queen his late friend Erwin helped to cast into the limelight.

Just like how he cast me into the limelight all those years ago. Just like Historia, I come from humble beginnings, and how ironic. Seems Erwin saw something in us both...

"Please sit, Captain Levi."

"That's Sir Captain to you, beard face..."

I'm just glad he can't hear my thoughts. He's such a perverted freak—he almost makes Kenny look like a saint with his fucked-up fetishes. Coprophagia for one, and sadism...

I do as he instructs, taking a seat across his desk, and the old man's watery blue eyes try to pierce through my machine-like façade.

"So... I guess you are curious about the nature of this sudden meeting, Captain Levi."

I don't give anything away; I remain stoic and calculated. "No, Sir. As Head of State, you have every reason to demand my immediate presence. Times are uncertain after all."

Good. That'll show him that I'm still duty-bound as ever.

"Hm. Well, so long as you're obliging... Now that you're finally here, Captain Levi, I would like to discuss with you the nature of your relationship with the queen. You have been her knight for some time now. You two must have become rather close..."

My heart hiccoughs then, but as always, I show no emotion. I try to think back to when I became her knight. I saved her in Orvud District back in September of 852, and we are now in March of 853.

Six months. Six months I have been her knight, but it feels like so much longer. Sure, I've known the woman since she was fifteen, yet still... I can't believe it's only been half a year.

Out of nowhere, a montage of all the times we spent together plays like a sad scene from one of those moving pictures that the volunteers showed us once, accompanied by the heart-breaking melody of a piano, and I almost lose my nerve.

In my memory's eye, I see the time I rescued her from the zealot with the gun back in Orvud. Then I see her knighting me before the throne, and the time we spent at the orphanage. And then I see our first kiss, and me pushing her away as I leave her at the mercy of a cold-blooded murderer, but I soon came to her aide, and now he sleeps with the fishes under that cold lake outside the farmhouse.

The MPs still don't know about that last guy, and they never will.

Next, I see us camping out in the woods, celebrating Armin's birthday, and now I see the moment I shielded her body from an archer's arrow (and then there are some not so pretty memories, too, as I see myself cutting an innocent man's ear off). Then fast forward to the time she gave me the sketch of my mother on my birthday, and then again to her birthday where we danced at her eighteenth birthday ball.

I still don't know if anyone realised that I was the masked stranger who stole her away that night, but now my heart aches when I see her lying below me again as we make love for the first time, and how the earth moved... Then I see her in the underground inside Chantal's brothel, wearing that sexy corset, and then I see us flying through the underground city, heading to Wolfgang's address where we eventually learned the identities of the men who had been trying to kill her.

Although there had been sad times, all my heart can focus on now are the good times. All the times I made her laugh or smile, or scream when I made sweet, sweet love to her, and it's a good job that this disturbed old bastard can't read my thoughts.

Six months. But it felt like a lifetime...

Finally, I meet the Premier's eyes, betraying nothing. He will be none the wiser of my secret marriage with the Queen Historia Reiss.

Yet, I can't stop the pounding of my heart as Historia's blue eyes won't leave me.

My heart has a mind of its own now, beating only for her...

"That's right. Six months to be exact."

He takes a moment to consider my words, pondering now. "And how long has it been since you found and arrested the lords who had been plotting her murder?"

A silent spell stretches between us, and like hell does he need me to answer that. He knows exactly when it happened because he was the one who gave those fucklords the punishments they so rightfully deserved, and then they were hanged for their crimes shortly after.

Lords Adler, Fischer, Lang, and Krause are no more, yet their daughters are still behind bars, being looked after by the delightful Hitch Dreyse. I hear she's deprived them of oils and moisturizers, while she'll happily apply her own products right outside the door of their cell, and Historia and I can sleep easier at night knowing that her former ladies are getting the torture that they rightfully deserve...

A heavy breath leaves me, and now I give the man his answer, "Two months, Sir..."

He takes another few moments to think it over. "And in these two months, has the queen come under any new threat?"

Only the threat that you and those MPs impose, beard face.

"None whatsoever, Sir."

He nods. "So, you stuck around out of habit. Fair enough. After all, the knights of old often stayed indefinably by their monarch's side, especially during times of war. But we are not living in old times now, Captain Levi, so I hereby declare that you are exonerated of your duties to the queen. Now you are free to return to the Survey Corps. I will have my men sent in your stead to oversee the queen's safety, just like the time when she first ascended the throne..."

An awful, prolonged silence passes through the room, but all I can feel is the dipping of my heart. Lower and lower it goes, falling into a deep, bottomless black hole, and it was the moment I feared the most...

Historia and I really will be separated. In just a few words, my short, sweet stint as her knight is all but over, and once again I will be back with my comrades, heading straight into battle.

It's like I have been split in two. One side of me is the soldier, the one who served Erwin Smith for years, and the other is a character you only see in fairy-tales, a shining, gallant knight protecting his queen, and I wonder which one will win.

After all, they're both as headstrong as the other, bound by their duty to protect their queen/commander, respectively.

But it's fine. Because both soldier and knight have one common goal: keep Historia safe. If I fight to keep Paradis safe from the rest of the world, in effect, I will be ensuring my queen's safety.

Maybe then she won't have to inherit the Beast Titan. Just... maybe...

For her, I will fight to the bitter end. Not only will I fight to protect her from that Beast, but I will fight to save Paradis.

My home.

"That'll be all, Captain."

He excuses me at last as I rise to my feet, clutching the hilt of my sword, but then Premier Zackley's eyes drop to the blade, and my body stiffens. For a moment, I think he is about to suggest that I hand it over, but like hell will I ever give up my blade.

It was a gift from Historia. I may no longer be by her side, but I will always be her knight. And now I leave, ready to embark on my new mission.

Here's to saving the people of Paradis, and my queen...

...

It was midnight by the time I returned to Shiganshina, and after I handed over Silver to a weedy looking stable hand, I made my way inside HQ, knowing that she will still be awake at this unholy hour.

I reach the door of her office, knock three times, and then a voice calls ominously inside, "You may enter, for my door is always open for the most curious of minds..."

I roll my eyes, barge my way inside, and now I stare into that one brown eye of Hange Zoe—the other eye covered by an eyepatch.

She's hunched over a microscope, and I know for a fact she sneezed onto another slide just so she could look at all her germs. The microscope is a modern model from beyond the walls, so that means all the more germs for Four Eyes to see...

Now she can observe even smaller particles below the wavelength of light, or something or other.

Disgusting.

Her one good eye amplifies as the candle splutters on her desk, and it looks as if she didn't get the memo that I'm returning.

"Levi? What are you...? Shouldn't you be at the orphanage?"

I step into her office, taking the empty seat before her desk, and now I stare at a steaming pot of tea. Looks like it's been freshly brewed.

Hange doesn't need to enquire twice. She just reads my mind, grabbing the handle of the pot, and now she pours us both a cup as we mope in silence.

I welcome a sip, then let out a long, melancholy sigh. It will never be as sweet as Historia's tea, but still...

It looks like I'm back with the Scouts.

My squad will be so happy to see me.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Levi is back with the Scouts. It may not be all doom and gloom because he gets to be with his bestie Hange again, but for the sake of romance, let's cry along with him.
> 
> Hopefully, Levi and Historia will soon be together again...
> 
> Until next time, folks.
> 
> Cartoon Princess Signing Off.


	9. Historia

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Hello all! Happy Valentine's Day. I hope you are all getting love today.
> 
> I am sorry for the hiatus, but we are getting close to the end of the manga now. I have mixed feelings, but I feel we are getting close to the origin of Historia's pregnancy. This fanfic can finally get rolling.
> 
> In the meantime, I have a new RivaHisu fanfic called Wilted Rose. It's an AU aot fanfiction. Levi is a hitman hired to kill Hisu, who is a fun-loving college student (think Legally Blonde), and, well, sparks fly...
> 
> Historia's pining is heartbreaking. I hope you are all prepared. Break-ups suck (even though they never broke-up).

I waited hours for his return. Just by the off chance that we were mistaken, and the commander-in-chief didn't mean to separate us.

I was sure that I would see the white shining coat of Silver riding over the hills, and then his sullen face would reappear like a mirage.

But he didn't return. Not even when the stars came out and the moon had taken the place of the sun, Levi did not show his face. And now life at the farm has become cold once again.

The nannies had to coax me back into the house with the promise of a hot bath in the end, and I cried all night in that boiling tub until the water turned cold. Not even the relaxing salts could mend my broken heart as my knight has left me forever, and I yearn for the day I can look into those sharp grey eyes again.

The nannies have taken over the orphanage while I mourn like a pathetic brat, just as Levi would say. I don't leave my room, I don't even eat anymore, and the nannies have started bringing my meals up to me.

The food remains untouched. Food has lost all its splendour now, except for tea—black tea to be precise, just as Levi always liked. I drink from his old cup with the chipped rim, guarding it like an aggressive terrier guards its bowl. I almost blew a fuse when one of the nannies tried to wash the last of him away. After all, his lips had been the last to touch that chipped porcelain, and no one will take what little I have left of him.

Sure, it's dried spittle, but who cares. It's Levi's dried spittle, now mingled with mine, and I'm so disgusting.

That's what Levi would call me, disgusting, and once again he fills my mind.

I lay curled up on my bed, hugging one of his stupid cravats. Since he had to leave in a rush, he never got a chance to pack his things. I expected he would have sent for them, but he never did.

So I guess all his stuff is mine now, sitting inside a trunk at the foot of my bed. Everything is as he left it. His clothes are still neatly folded and labelled according to their function: civilian clothes vs military attire.

The cravat soaks up my tears as I cry into the material, absorbing the last of his scent.

It still smells of him, and for a moment I close my eyes, trying to pretend he's still beside me.

He always smelled so good, like peppermint and cedar. Even of a morning, he always looked so fresh, while I would have foul morning breath, and he really is perfect.

Not a single flaw in sight.

I've been through this before, right after Ymir left, but at least I had the chance to mourn this time. When my surly friend left my life, I wanted to lock myself in a room for days, weeks even, but I couldn't because the Scouts were on the move.

Eren and I had to lay low, protected by none other than… Levi Squad. And once again, the captain's sour expression fills my mind.

He may have been a sour puss, but he was my sour puss, and now… he's gone.

Yet at least I will see him again. Someday. At the next state meeting, or in our shared Path.

I've not been able to venture back there since we pressed our foreheads together.

That was how Frieda used to take my memories away back when she used to visit me at the farm, but it was slightly different with Levi. We didn't go to our Path until we pulled apart.

So, what does it mean? I can only enter the Path unless I separate myself from Levi? But that means he would have to be here with me right now just so we could pull our heads apart, and great.

I guess this is what they call a Catch 22.

Looks like Levi and I really never will see each other again. Well, not until the next state meeting...

I just hope I get to see him before he's called to war. If anything happens to him, and I never get the chance to even say goodbye… I will fall apart.

The children play outside and not even the sweet sound of their laughter can soothe me now. The only sound I want is the sound of Levi's baritone voice whispering sweet nothings into my ear, or the sound of him admonishing me for daring to be such a mess.

I haven't bathed in a week after all.

The sheets haven't been changed either. The night before he left, Levi had stayed in my bed with me, and the scent of our sex still lingers as I think back to our last stolen moments together.

With a heavy sigh, I roll around and place my fingers against his pillow, and the indentation of his head still lingers. His warmth has long since faded, but at times I can still see him sleeping beside me, looking like an angel again.

Yeah, Levi sleeps like an angel. Go fig. I often wonder if he knew that I watched him sleep sometimes in those rare moments where I would rouse before him. His mouth would curve slightly at the corners, and I think he was on to me.

It's a longshot, but I pluck a strand of black hair from his pillow and press it to my forehead, yet nothing happens. No beautiful field of poppies or endless blue skies, just the boring four walls of my bedroom.

I place the strand back onto the pillow, heaving another sigh. That's when I hear a creak outside the door, rolling my eyes.

"I said I wanted to be alone. Please…" I add, trying not to sound too rude.

The person doesn't leave, so I rise from my bed, looking at the door. Through the gap beneath, I see a shadow—a small shadow. Next, there comes the sound of a childish, squeaky breath, and my heart goes.

It's… one of the Children...

Before my mind can process what's happening, a piece of paper slips through the door, and now the child makes a quick break for it, leaving me alone at last.

My lip shakes.

Tilly…

She must be mourning for Levi too. She was much closer to him than she was with me after all, and at times I think she's still nervous of me. She will speak to me, but she's only ever formal. In fact, out of all the kids, she's the only one who will use my honorific "Your Majesty". Yet she always smiled with Levi, reading to him by the tree at the end of the yard, and in those rare moments, I would catch them hugging.

My heart plummets.

If only Levi could see that he was a father all along. A father to Tilly.

Poor thing. She must be missing him.

I climb out of bed and pad towards the door in my bare feet, picking up her drawing, and a sob catches in my throat.

It's a picture of me, sad and dejected as my angel wings have been clipped, and I press the drawing to my chest, crying against the door.

"L-Levi…"

My soft voice echoes back to me in the cold room, and I just want him back.

"I… miss you…"

Yet nothing. No reply and now I press my forehead to the door, falling into another pit of despair.

So pathetic.

…

By the tenth day of Levi's departure, the nannies call me into the kitchen.

I trudge into the room, meeting the five women at the table. They vary in age from nineteen to seventy-six. The youngest is Bethany, a perky blonde with the shrillest of laughs. Then there's Ruth, a stern older lady of fifty who always seems to have her mouth pressed into a line. Then there's Louisa, an attractive dark blonde woman of thirty; Claudia, a smiley, thin woman in her forties, and finally, Muriel; a sweet old lady at the age of seventy-six.

There's tea brewing in a pot as I take my seat, pouring myself a cup. They've even baked me biscuits, but I don't take one. I'm not hungry.

Claudia pushes the plate towards me, prompting me to take a biscuit. "Have a biscuit, Your Majesty.

I meet the woman's twinkling brown eyes and help myself, and now they watch expectantly as I take a small bite. I become self-conscious, thinking I've got crumbs on my face. "What is it?" I ask, wiping my mouth.

Claudia laughs, a sweet, pleasant sound. "Nothing, Your Grace. We just want to see how you're holding up. Is everything all right? You've barely left your room since the captain left. The children miss you."

A breath lodges in my throat when she mentions the captain, and now the waterworks make their ugly appearance. Great. Now I'm crying like a big baby in front of the nannies. They've already got enough children to take care of; they don't need another.

Ruth whacks Claudia's shoulder. "Now look what you've gone and done. You've made Her Majesty cry."

Poor Claudia wobbles her lip, and now she looks as if she's about to cry herself. "Oh, Your Grace… I'm so sorry…"

I shake my head, trying to show her that I'm okay. "No… it's fine… it's just… I… I miss him so much…"

I toss my half-eaten biscuit back onto the plate and cry into my hands. My muffled sobs echo through the room. Somewhere, I hear Levi muttering "tch" in disgust, and I know what he would say right now if he were here: "Pull yourself together. You're a soldier. Soldiers don't cry..."

Well, I'm an ex-soldier, but the sentiment is still the same. I shouldn't cry. I'm the queen of the walls, and I need to keep it together and stay strong.

I need to be everyone's source of inspiration. Tough times are ahead. Sooner or later, we will go to war with Marely once their fight with the East Allied Forces is over.

Claudia rises from her seat and comes to my end of the table, and now she wraps her arms around me. She's not the only one. One by one, each nanny joins the first as they take time to reassure me, and I thank the gods for these women.

At least I'm not alone, even if the captain has gone.

"There, there, Historia… it's okay. Here, here's a hanky…"

Claudia passes me a frilly pink handkerchief, and I blow my nose into the material. She's definitely the sweetest, while Ruth is the firmest, but even she right now offers me condolences.

Muriel is like the grandma I never had. She's always knitting me things, from mittens, scarves, and even a tea cosy, and the children love her.

The two youngest, Bethany and Louisa, couldn't be more different. While Beth is outspoken, Louisa is quiet and reflective, and they really do balance each other out.

I blow the remnants of my bunged-up nose into Claudia's handkerchief and wipe my eyes, looking at each of them. It's only just occurred to me that Claudia called me Historia instead of my usual honorific, and I'm grateful.

"Thank you... All of you. Without the five of you, I'd be completely lost. This is a big orphanage with fifteen little mouths to feed. I can't run it by myself. So I promise… from now on, I will get out of bed each morning. I will eat my breakfast and see to the—"

Ruth holds up a hand and I close my mouth. She always looks so severe, and I swear she could give Levi's seriousness a run for his money. The children are scared of her.

"Hold on. We're not here to force you to do anything, Your Majesty. We were just worried, that's all."

I blink. "You… you were?"

"Of course!" Claudia pipes. "There's no rush. Take all the time you need. After all, it's not just you who misses him…"

My eyes widen. "It's… not…?"

"No, silly," Claudia continues, retaking her seat, and the others follow her example. "It was nice having a man around the house for a change."

"Yeah," Louisa sighs. "And what a man indeed. I know he wasn't much height-wise, but for him, I'd have made an exception…"

The others murmur in agreement, and I have no idea what's happening. They all miss Levi? That short, sour-faced man? Nonsense.

Wait… do other women see what I see? I just thought it was a case of love is blind, but is Levi a catch? My old ladies-in-waiting did always admire him too, but that was only because he was famous. They never really tried to get to know the real Levi.

"He was so strong, opening all the jars in the kitchen…" Claudia chimes.

"And he admired my fine knitting too," Muriel adds, and seriously, Levi and knitting? Although his teapot always did have a nice tea cosy…

"He was good with the kids too. Especially Tilly…" Louisa admires.

"Plus, he has a cute butt!" Bethany proclaims, and the ladies laugh.

Ruth doesn't look amused as she scowls at the young girl, and Beth zips her mouth shut. Now the stern woman looks at me. "So, you see, Your Majesty, it's not just you. We all miss Captain Levi."

"But unfortunately, war called him home once again…" Claudia trails off, and all five women stare off into the distance.

Again, I'm confused. They all look smitten as they think of my grumpy lover. I suppose Levi is the type of person you warm to after you get to know him, but it looks as if I may have some competition.

Louisa and Bethany are quite beautiful, and Louisa just happens to be the right age for Levi, but she's taller than the both of us at five foot five.

"Well, he is a war hero after all," Louisa says dreamily, and I guess I should be worried.

But I know I'm the only woman for Levi, as he is the only man for me. I would never trade him in for another.

Not even a young, handsome man my own age. I met that young, handsome man once, and he ended up trying to kill me. Then he was hanged for his crime.

Silence falls over the kitchen, and now I take a sip of my tea. These women all know that Levi and I are in a secret relationship; they figured it out even before we did, and they have never told a soul. In fact, they've been a big help.

When the MPs came snooping around, they kept their lips sealed. They never even told them about the man who'd come to the orphanage to kill me months back as his body still lies out there in the lake, and I shiver at the memory.

I definitely hired some killer ladies, and they will help me through the coming months.

I will need the support after all.

I place my cup down and say the next things on my mind. "Do… do you think he will be okay? When war comes?"

They all stop, deliberating what I say. Ruth is the first to speak, "That man has battled monsters larger than life itself. Do you really think a bunch of humans across the ocean have anything on him, Your Grace?"

Her words shock me, and I glance down at the wood grains of the table, cursing myself for ever doubting Levi. "No… you're right. It was a silly question…"

Another silent beat passes over the table. The children can be heard outside, and I release a melancholy sigh. God bless the miracle of children indeed. Even as war rages on, they still remain so pure and ignorant.

And I'll ensure they stay that way. Some of those children have seen enough already. A few of them lost their parents to the titans over four years ago. They've seen hell, literally.

Claudia looks up and grins. "He will come back, Your Grace, and we will be waiting right along with you when he finally returns..."

She winks at me, taking a gentle sip of her cup, and now we all finish our tea in silence. I soon return to my room. They insisted since I still have some mourning to do. So I lock the door behind me, lying down on my bed.

I know they're right. Levi will come back one day, and he will survive the war. I just wish I could see him again, feel him, touch him, kiss him…

I soon drift off with his cravat pressed close to my nose, and his strong, masculine scent invades my imagination as I disappear into dreamland.

Hopefully, Levi will join me too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I hope you enjoyed. I never gave Historias nannies names or ages in HMKnight, but I finally did now. I hope you all like them.
> 
> See you next time. Hopefully, we will find out what is going on with Historia very soon.
> 
> TheCartoonPrincessSigningOff.

**Author's Note:**

> AN: Thank you for reading! I would love to hear your thoughts in a review below. I intend to update regularly but I wanted to see how things went first.
> 
> CartoonPrincessSigningOfff.


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